


Butchered

by x_Luniana_x



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angry Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Chloe KNOWS, Crime, Crime Fighting, Crime Scenes, Drama, Established Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, F/M, Flashbacks, Gore, Hurt Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Long Shot, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Whump, Lucifer dealing with shit his own way, Lucifer seeking revenge, Mutilation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phantom pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Suffering, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, Vulnerable Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), multi-chapter-story, passionate love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27541933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_Luniana_x/pseuds/x_Luniana_x
Summary: Lucifer gets badly injured, has no recollection of what happened and is suspect in a murder investigation. He struggles with the repercussions of his injuries, but works with Chloe to fill in the blanks of his story. But when other dead bodies are turning up with a detail that connects them to Lucifer, they find that they have bitten-off more than they can chew.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 106
Kudos: 166





	1. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welcome everyone to this new story of mine! It's a big project once again and it will not be a light topic. It will be quite some pain and drama involved and I hope you're up for the ride! Prepare to see our Devil suffer, because ain't he pretty when he suffers? This story is gonna be a WIP that will take longer time to update, so just a heads up from my side. I hope you still enjoy the crazy ride! Buckle up Lucifans!
> 
> Recommended Songs:
> 
> [Mysterious Psychological Horror Music - Dukkha](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdeGWJJur00)
> 
> [Dark Dramatic & Suspenseful Film Score Instrumental Music - Vyapada](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrwH4TtOQug)

* * *

Chapter 1 – Awakening

**[[Music 1]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdeGWJJur00) **

The first thing he took note of was that he felt cold. Freezing, spine chilling, teeth-chattering cold.

Then he felt his stomach sink and twist, making him feel sick and dizzy.

The last sensation he became aware of came with an instinctive roll of his tongue to wet his mouth. There was a disgusting gravelly, dusty taste that laid on his tongue and made him grimace.

Cringing, groaning and coughing, he opened his eyes with a few, unsteady blinks. He tried to adjust to the gloomy lighting, but his vision stayed blurry.

He could tell there was something rough and grey in his view and something was dripping onto his temple, making him grimace.

"Urgh… Wh't happ'n'd?" he slurred, his lips and tongue not working the way he wanted them to. They felt tingling and slightly numb.

Lifting his right arm to brush away the annoying moisture from his face, he groaned again and let out an exhausted huff. His shoulder hurt and his arm felt heavy. It was difficult to lift it, almost as if he was willing a limb to move that wasn't his own. Biting through the strangely straining effort, he managed to wipe over the side of his face with the back of his fingers, removing the excess liquid, before his arm dropped back down.

Very slowly, his vision began to sharpen, colours and surfaces coming into view. It took him another minute to realize that the big vertical surface to the left in his vision was actually a concrete floor and he was laying sideways on it. Huffing, he filled his lungs with some much needed oxygen, pressed his right palm to the ground in front of his body and tried to push himself up.

Unaware of where it came from, a sharp, mind-numbing pain shot through him, crushing every ounce of control he had over his body. A guttural scream tore free from his chest and, with his eyes wide from shock and pain, he dropped back down on his side with a heavy, wet thud. His vision darkened again, threatening to fade completely, his lungs rasping.

_W-what… the… f-f-f-uck?!_

His head was spinning madly and a wave of nausea threatened to overtake him again.

_N-naus-s-seous? How t-t-the hell am I feel-l-ling n-nauseous?_

It was strange. He couldn't recall having ever felt this sick and like he needed to throw up. His metabolism was supposed to deal with everything his body was put through; Alcohol, drugs, wounds. He could have a car crash and walk away from it unscratched and not even have a headache.

Feeling completely knocked out of his strength and clear senses, he couldn't do anything else but rest for a few moments, gathering his energy for a second attempt. Slowly the strange feeling in his stomach calmed down and the tormenting pain became less. Teeth clenched together and eyes squeezing shut, he pressed his right palm on the concrete floor again and pushed himself up into a sitting position with a long stretched groan. Panting, he fluttered his eyes, forcing his lungs to take deep, rich breaths of air. It wasn't that he really needed the oxygen, but it definitely helped to clear his foggy perception and to keep the sick feeling at bay. Breath after breath his body regained some strength and his eyes began to adjust to the darkness.

A rumbling thunder vibrated around him, followed shortly after by a blueish lighting, flashing and brightening his surrounding. He sat inside a huge room, some sort of warehouse, he figured. The corrugated iron walls and roof above his head crackled under a heavy rain coming down and a puddle of water had formed next to him beneath a rusty gap in the roof.

With his breath still laboured, he turned his head and torso, wanting to look around and get a better understanding of where he was.

_And how the hell I got here… And why can't I remember? Urgh…_

There was tons of junk lying around. Old, empty and broken glass bottles, piles of cigarette buds, take away boxes and wrapping paper. Massive steel poles along the sides of the building carried the weight of an upper cargo pathway, connected with some sort of crane system. The big side windows were covered with wood panels and old, yellowish, half-torn plastic covers. The building was clearly abandoned since several years.

Another thunder shook through the building, vibrating in the ground beneath him, followed by long flashes of lightning, illuminating the big hall for another few moments, and drowning the interior into an eerie light blue. Looking around to the left, he saw an old leftover wooden crate. It was about four by four foot big and visibly weathered through years of being exposed to rain coming from the leaking roof. His attention was drawn to something black, shiny and pointy, right at the edge behind the crate. He squinted his eyes.

A shoe.

And a person wearing it.

Leaning onto both of his palms, he slowly shifted forward on his knees, eyes fixed on the shoe and its owner. "H-hey! Hey, you!" Inch by inch, he crawled closer, feeling the concrete and small gravel beneath his knees tear through his pants. He didn't notice how the gravel also scratched his skin. At last, with exhausted grunts and heavily panting, he reached the crate and peaked around its corner, freezing.

"… oh, bollocks."

It was a man in his thirties. His arms were splayed out to the sides. His left leg was bent, his right outstretched. Big, glassy blue eyes gazed up towards the ceiling, his mouth hanging slack. The fabric of his green-checkered shirt was drenched with blood where the black hilt of a knife stood out.

"N-Not g-good…"

His mind wandered to the Detective.

_I sh'ld tell her…_

He tried to think over what he would have to say, what he _needed_ to say, but it was difficult to even come up with words in his mind, let alone think of a whole sentence. Even his thoughts began to sound slurring in his head.

Licking his dried lips, he cringed at a bitter taste of blood and reached up to see if he had accidentally bit through his lip. But the moment he looked at his own hand, he startled. It was completely covered in blood. All of his fingers were coated by it, including his palm and the back of his hand. The sprinkles went as far up to his forearm, right where his sleeve was rolled up to. Lifting his left hand in simple reflex, he released a shocked sound when he saw it was covered in blood as well.

_What the...? What… what th' hell happen'd?_

**[[Music 2]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdeGWJJur00) **

He could tell it wasn't his own blood as there weren't any cuts in his palms. Looking down on himself, he gasped again. The front of his light grey dress shirt was also soaked with blood and pulled halfway out of his equally ruined pants. Glancing back and forth between the man and his own attire and hands, a horrifying thought creeped up in a dark corner of his mind. His pulse skyrocketed and he swallowed.

_D-did… did I… kill him?_

With another rolling thunder above him, he fell into a sudden, powerful shuddering attack that went through his shoulders and caused the maddening pain to return. Feeling a hot piercing rush in his back, he dropped back down onto his palms and groaned in agony.

_W-what's goin' on h-here? W-what 's happ'n'd t' m-me? W-why 's it hurt s' much?_

Rasping, he turned his head, trying to pry over his shoulder, but the straining muscles of his back and shoulder felt ripping and the overwhelming pain caused him to release another harrowing scream. He felt the sting of tears as the pain was close to unbearable, but then his unique and unchallenged willpower kicked in and he clenched his teeth in defiance.

"FUCK!"

He would _not_ surrender to the pain. He was the _King of Pain_. Forcing himself to endure the horrendous ache in his back, he managed to turn his head a few inches further until he laid eyes on something white and red and he froze yet again.

Bones were sticking out of his back, cracked and bare. Muscles and sinews were torn and twitched with tiny movements. Devoid of the white thicket they usually carried, he looked horrified at two grotesque stumps.

The sickness returned to the back of his throat, but before it could make him gag, his vision blurred and he sank back down onto his side.

_They are gone._

_My wings... are gone._

Swallowing down the bile, he began to tremble, staring ahead in front of him with nothing in focus. The atrocity of what had been done to him came crashing down on him like a tsunami.

_Someone removed them._

_Someone took them._

_Someone fucking_ butchered _me!_

Unaware of it, his tears spilled onto the gravelled floor, silently disappearing in the dust and rain, and a seed of anger began to blossom inside of him. Trying to remember who had done this to him, and probing against the black hole in his memory, he suddenly felt a distant vibration against his thigh. Blinking out of his trance, he reached into his pocket with a trembling, bloodstained hand and held his phone in front of him.

At the sight of the picture on the screen, his heart made a painful but relieved leap. Shakily pressing the speaker button, he took the call and before he could even say anything, Chloe's voice rang, sweet and lovingly concerned.

" _Lucifer? Hey! I thought you were coming over tonight. Is everything alright? Were you held up at Lux?"_

He squeezed his eyes as if it would help him recall the events, but even his thoughts were stumbling and trembling. _L-Lux? H-have I been-n at Lux b-before?_

Breathing hard through his pain, he tried to keep his voice steady, but it was in vain. His strength was waning again. "D-Detectiv-v-ve? I- I- I d-don't..."

" _Lucifer?"_ Her tone instantly switched to seriously alarmed. " _Lucifer, what's wrong?"_

Looking around through blurry eyes, he shook his head, not remembering that she couldn't see him. "I… I d-don't… I don't... k-k-know…" he stammered, releasing a whimpering whine. "D-Det-tectiv-ve, I… I th-think I m-might h-have-"

_Killed someone._

But she cut him off sharply, her voice now clearly filled with panic. " _Lucifer, are you injured?"_

It was hard to keep his eyes open and his surroundings quickly began to slip away. He wondered if maybe he had suffered too much blood loss or if it was the pain that made his consciousness crumble. Eyes squeezing and reopening slowly, he huffed out a pained laugh, grimacing over his situation and her words. "You c-could s-s-say that…'' he slurred exhaustedly. Thinking on the horrid condition on his back, he added with a groan, "P-please…Detectiv'... C-c-call Maz-z-keen…"

There was a short pause on the other end of the line, but then Chloe's voice returned, composed, concise and calm, but nothing less demanding. " _Okay, Lucifer, listen to me. I need you to tell me where you are. I'm coming to get you."_

Looking around at the things he could see, he grunted. There were no signs. No plates with names or logos. "I… I don' k-know… But..." He paused, staring at his bloodstained hands, seeing double. "D-Detectiv', th-there is-s somethin' wrong. I can'… r'member..."

" _Alright Lucifer, please, you have to stay on the line. I'm tracking your phone. Just stay with me, okay?"_

Exhausted he closed his eyes. The darkness felt comfortable. At least it wasn't straining to have his eyes closed. But the horrifying thought from before crept back up in his foggy mind as it started to drift. "I… I think… I did s'm'thin'... horr'bl'..." The cold and dark surrounding him were gentle. They were easy on him. Much easier than staying aware of all the pain and blood, the exhaustion and all those confusing thoughts. It was better to just let it rest. To let it all go.

" _Hey! Hey, Lucifer, stay with...! Keep talk...! ...hear me? Lucif… Need... say someth...! LUCIFER?!"_

It was really nice to hear her voice, to have it vibrate into the darkness. Into _him_. It was like a soothing lullaby, despite her panicking tone. It was so sweet. Like milk with honey.

It was wonderful to fall asleep to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that's it! The first chapter of many more to come in this crazy story. I hope you enjoyed this opening scene and ready for more! :) Stay tuned and leave me your thoughts if you like!
> 
> \- Luni


	2. Emergency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright ladies and gentlemen. Time to amp up the pain level. Yeah. I won't go easy on you and our sweethearts. Be ready for the gruesomeness, hurt and angst to continue, here and in further chapters. 
> 
> On a side note:  
> 1\. I changed the Rating to EXPLICIT for safety reasons. Yes, it will be gory and get into violent details. So please be aware of the tags.  
> 2\. I changed the avatar of the story and will now include it in every chapter, simply because I think it looks awesome. :D
> 
> Now, enjoy the read! ;)
> 
> Recommended Songs:  
> [Ruelle - Find You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT-IK2H2StI)  
> [A Storm is Comin - Liv Ash](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU4J17q8lsg)  
> [When the Sun Goes Down - Laney Joney](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCQuD_bEQYk)

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Emergency**

[ **[Ruelle - Find You]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT-IK2H2StI)

"Lucifer?! Lucifer are you still there?! Talk to me! Say something!"

She listened anxiously, pensively, but when she didn't hear another word from him, a sharp clench pinched through her chest and she started to tremble. Listening past her thumping pulse in her ears, she could make out the faint sound of drizzling rain and a roaring thunder at Lucifer's end. It wasn't telling her much, but he seemed to be in the proximity of the storm yet not somewhere outside in the heavy rain. A very thin silver lining. Keeping the line to Lucifer open, she checked her GPS connection to his phone, beyond happy that they had both installed the tracking app to their phones in case of an emergency.

 _And this_ is _a freaking emergency, alright?! Oh god, I hope he didn't- No. No! I mustn't think like that! He's fine. I'm sure he's fine. He has to be. He's the freaking Devil. He can take everything, right? He is immortal, god-damnit!_

Her movements were subconscious, professionally trained and instinctive. She collected her badge and gun from her small safe, put on her holster and secured her weapon. Hearing the successful _beep_ on her phone, she checked the location of the small red dot on the map, copied the address and sent it to Maze with the words: _Lucifer needs help. Meet u there._

A door squeaked open and a concerned looking Trixie stepped out of her room, the teen magazine she had been reading, still in hand. "Mom? What's going on?"

"Hey sweety. I've got an emergency going on. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

"Is Lucifer in trouble? I heard you calling his name," Trixie asked, her eyes wide with worry.

"That's what I need to find out. You stay here, sweety." Quickly stepping up to her, she pulled her daughter into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. There was no time to explain, not that she knew anything else she could really tell her. But she was glad her daughter was a strong character. Despite her being worried over what could happen in her job, Trixie was aware how much she loved her job and how she wanted to help people in need. And even from a young age on, Trixie had a good empathetic understanding when people needed care as well. "Love you, monkey."

"Love you, too, Mom. Be safe."

"Will be." Heading to the coat pig, she put on a decent rain jacket, grabbed her keys and stormed out of the house to her car. The signal of Lucifer's phone was showing up in South Gate. If it would have been daytime and sunny, she knew it would easily take her almost an hour through traffic, but now in the dark and with the rain falling in sheets, she could make it in thirty minutes, if she'd floor it. Pulling out of the driveway, she let the engine rev and sped down the street, her muscle tense.

It had all been going so well the past few weeks. She had come to terms with her being a miracle from God, her and Lucifer had made the step into a relationship with truly mindblowing sex, and they were doing great at working together as a team. She was beyond impressed to see how much he was thriving with both Trixie and Charlie, even though he hated admitting that, always playing the sleek Devil, but she could always see straight through him. He was _deeply_ caring for them, and while his behaviour oftentimes seemed quirky, it came from a place of love and she knew that he would go to unthinkable lengths for all of them.

He was a stubborn nut to crack, but a very passionate and loving Devil on the inside. He wasn't comfortable with her knowing his weak spots, so she didn't point them out in public. Only in sweet banter when he had teased her first, she would fight back a little dirty. She was aware that his hurt ego would heal and he would be back to his dashing smile and wacky innuendos in a matter of seconds.

But now she was afraid it was all slipping away with every mile she drove and every traffic light she skipped. The thought of losing him was pulling the floor from beneath her feet and made her mind and heart stumble into a dark, scary abyss. It worried and confused her, that he said he was hurt, after he had explained to her multiple times that he was immortal, unless he was in her close proximity. Maybe he had been close to her when he got hurt, she wondered as she took a sharp left turn, leaving behind two cars hitting their brakes with an upset honk.

_Maybe he's gotten himself into trouble with some shady people he's made deals with… Maybe some crazy, sick folks… underground people... Or maybe one of his siblings... Didn't he say, only celestial or infernal weapons could hurt him, like Maze daggers?_

She didn't notice the tears escaping her as she tried to force away pictures of him wounded and bleeding. Whenever he had been hurt around her, he always had a tendency to downplay things, but he wasn't necessarily insane when he threw himself in front of a loaded gun. Quite the contrary. She had seen the shimmer in his eyes afterwards, that deeply anchored devotion, letting her know he would protect what he loved with his life, without second thoughts. He was self sacrificing, and the Devil was very humble about it.

A lightning strike above her lit up the road, showing just about how little her car's headlights had been able to reveal in the darkness. The streets weren't even able to divert the rain quickly enough, causing the water to stand about two inches high. Thick black clouds still hung low above the city and, glancing to the horizon, she couldn't see for the storm to be over anytime soon. Checking her phone, she saw she was just a few turns away from Lucifer's location. Hitting the gas further, she sped over the crossroad ahead and followed the signs to the warehouse district. One abandoned red-brick warehouse lined up next to another, old manufacturing sings from tire, tobacco and clothing productions of times long gone.

Slowing down, she took a last turn towards the blinking dot of her destination. A lone standing warehouse with tall, rectangular windows came into her view. It was surrounded by bare ground that had completely flooded up and transformed into a sticky, muddy mess. Taking the barely visibly paved entrance onto the property, she spotted a lone standing SUV, manoeuvred around it and parked towards the front entrance of the building. Reaching over to the side pocket of the door, she grabbed her flashlight, pulled her jacket's hoodie up and stepped out into the pouring rain. Her boots immediately sank into the mud and the sharp wind was whipping the rain against her, soaking her jeans within seconds where they weren't covered from her jacket.

A roaring engine and a pair of headlights sped around the corner and up towards her. Just about to jump out of its way, the car stopped. As the headlights and engine were turned off, she flicked her wrist up, aiming her flashlight and revealing Maze who darted towards her in her usual leathery outfit - without a jacket.

_Right. Demon. I doubt she ever feels cold._

[ **[A Storm is Comin - Liv Ash]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU4J17q8lsg)

"According to his phone, he's somewhere inside this building," Chloe said without a greeting and headed straight to the massive steel door at the front of the warehouse. A thick iron chain with a broken padlock and bolt cutter laid right in front of the door, halfway sunken in the mud. It looked rusty, fitting to the weathered and abandoned building. With a shaky hand, she pushed the handle and pressed against the door. Creaking, it scrubbed over the concrete floor of the building, making way into an ample hall. Her heart thundering along with the raging storm hailing down, she quickly strode into the hall, aiming the flashlight through the darkness. "Lucifer?! Lucifer, where are you?!" she called out, frantically looking behind old barrels and dust-covered machines.

But the warehouse gave them no sign of Lucifer's whereabouts. Puddles of water had formed beneath various holes in the roof and made the wind howl through. A rustling made her turn to the side, spotting that the windows were all barred with wood panels and old, yellowish plastic sheets, torn and weathered, fluttering in the breeze that managed to creep inside. It was a distracting sound added to the drizzle and thundering, but she figured she needed to give a call a try to be heard. If not from her ears, then perhaps from Maze. Quickly dialling Lucifer's number, she let it ring and listened. "Can you make out his phone?"

"Yeah," Maze pressed and walked past her at a quick pace. "It's coming from this way," she muttered through clenched teeth. "And I can smell blood."

Her throat tightened. He is hurt. He said he was. Following her through the hall, she caught up with her and eventually heard the quiet ringtone. Rounding the corner of a wooden crate, she was lucky to have landed on her right foot as she laid eyes on a body. Stumbling to the side, she flashed the light down. A man, mid forties, tousled, dirty blonde hair, wild beard and a knife stuck in the chest.

_Okay… Not Lucifer._

"Shit!" Maze cursed, pulling her attention a few feet further towards the back corner of the hall.

Quickly stepping around the body, she rushed over to Maze, seeing her crouch down. The second she laid eyes on Lucifer's body, she felt her heart crack. "Oh god…" she breathed, shocked. He laid slumped down on his side facing towards her. His eyes were closed and his limbs were bent in an uncomfortable way. One hand, looking dark somehow, laid still next to his cellphone on the ground. Falling to her knees in front of him, she put her flashlight down and carefully picked up his head, gently caressing his cheeks. "Lucifer?" she asked carefully, but he didn't react. Remembering to go for the most important thing, she checked his pulse. It was there. Not too faint.

_Good. GOOD!_

Excitedly releasing a relieved laugh, she froze immediately after, when she turned his face more into the field of the flashlight.

There was blood.

Lots of it.

It was smeared over his lips and chin, and looking back down to his hands, she saw them both covered in blood as well, even going up to his elbows. But there didn't seem to be any wounds.

_What the fuck…_

"Decker…" Maze pressed lowly, her voice trembling. The demon looked at her with glistening eyes before lowering them to Lucifer's back.

Following her glance and leaning in to look at Lucifer's back, she felt her guts twisting and needed to look away. Forcing down the bile in the back of her throat, she shuddered. Taking several shallow breaths, she eventually managed to turn to carefully look at him again.

His wings were gone. Clearly somehow taken off of him in an act of gruesome violence, torn or broken, she couldn't tell exactly. All that burned itself into her mind was the blank white of bone and ripped flesh that hung at the stumps of the once most beautiful pair of wings in celestial existence. "Oh my... god…" she choked, tears burning in her eyes.

_Who the fuck would do something sick like that?! Holy shit!_

Licking her dried lips, she returned her focus on Lucifer's face and tenderly brushed her thumbs over his smeared cheeks. "Lucifer? Hey… Hey, can you hear me? I'm here. Open your eyes. Please, Lucifer, open your eyes. Come on..."

A weak, choked groan vibrated from Lucifer's mouth, barely able to be heard above the storm. Her hopes were rising. He wasn't gone. His pulse was more or less okay. And despite what had been done to him, he was getting back his senses. The Devil was a god-damn fighter. Quite literally. "Lucifer… come on… You have to open your eyes for me," she sweetly urged between sobs, watching as his brows pinched in discomfort and he murmured out another low groan.

"Fucking hell, Lucifer. Open your god-damn eyes!" Maze growled out all of a sudden. But despite her sharp tone, her expression was tense and she seemed concerned, giving away that she was also rather shocked about Lucifer's condition. It didn't stop her though from giving his ear a little pinch. "Wake up!"

"Nnnnghuuugh!" Lucifer groaned out weakly, his eyes fluttering open. Just a moment ago, he had been wrapped into nice comfortable darkness. Admittedly, it had felt cold, icy even. But at least he hadn't felt that tormenting pain in his back anymore. Eyes blinking, a wraithlike, warm but still blurry silhouette came into his view.

"Lucifer! Hey!" Chloe cheered through tears, brushing a greasy strand of hair from his forehead.

That silhouette looked surreal. It was a face, and that voice… It was heavenly… and familiar. "Mother Teresa?" he murmured, wondrous and heartbreakingly innocent.

Releasing a tearful laugh, she shook her head, continuing to caress his cheeks. "No… Not quite. It's me. Chloe."

Upon hearing her name his heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened, his vision sharpening. "Detective!" The shape of her elegant face finally turned to its full glory and his lips curled up into a pained but genuine smile. "You're here…"

"Yeah, and me," Maze commented with a grumble.

Tilting his head, he spotted his demon and let out a huff. "Lovely."

Ignoring their little bantering, Chloe's mind was racing over the situation. Lucifer was hurt. Badly. He needed treatment somehow, get himself checked, but that was hardly possible, given that his condition involved real, freaking angel wing stumps growing out of his back. Then there was also a dead body laying near them with a knife sticking out of his chest. This _had_ to be properly investigated. "Lucifer, can you tell me anything about what happened to you? Do you know that man over there?"

He swallowed and frowned, trying hard to concentrate and recall anything whatsoever, but there was just a blank white noise in the darkness of his memory. No images of places he'd been to or things he's seen and no snippets of conversation that he had popped up in his mind. Nothing. And that scared the shit out of him. This had never happened to him before. Ever. Even in his wildest nights of drug consumption, he had never been having such a blackout before. If he had been awake during the last couple of hours, he should be able to remember _something_. And somehow he couldn't even recall how his wings had been taken from him. Shaking his head at her, he released a shuddering, sobbing breath. "I don't remember anything… I… I don't…" He trailed off shortly, gathering fuzzy thoughts to be put into words. "Detective… My…" Swallowing, he closed his eyes, hating that he felt so weak, hating that he couldn't keep his voice from trembling. "My… My wings... They… they are..."

"I know, Lucifer. I know," she sobbed, nodding, wanting to relieve him off the pain of having to put his torment into words. To think that nothing could be more world-shattering than seeing an angel's wings being butchered off turned out to be a royal misjudgement. Seeing Lucifer's expression and hearing his broken and shocked voice were even worse. He knew what had been done to him. And while it could be called somewhat of a good thing for him to have no recollection of the _how_ and _who_ , this was all just making it worse. With Lucifer not knowing anything, they had to start at zero. "Okay… listen. I need to call this in," she began carefully, thinking over how exactly to go on about this. She looked at his stumps. They mustn't be seen from her colleagues. Frowning at him apologetically, she nudged her chin towards his back. "Can you somehow… I mean… Is it possible to somehow… make them disappear?"

"Are you fucking insane?!" Maze shot back at her furiously. "Your presence alone is already putting him in so much more pain! What makes you think that he could just draw back his freaking-"

"Mazikeen! Enough!" Lucifer cut back angrily, grunting and huffing through clenched teeth at the effort to shout. Licking his blood stained lips, he looked at her sternly. There was no need to be so angry towards Chloe, even though he understood where it came from. "I asked... the Detective to bring you... for a reason," he stated through heavy breathing. "Do you have your knives with you?"

Chloe frowned, unsure of what he wanted and feeling a strange, heavy pull in the pit of her stomach. "Lucifer, what are you-"

Maze's face paled, her lips curling in sudden rage, her voice shaking. "No fucking way! You're not making me do that again to you! I'm not under oath anymore!"

"I am asking you in humility, as a friend," he pressed, the pain and suffering of not only his wounds, but also of what had been done to him, so evident in his expression. "I'm _begging_ you, Maze. Please."

She scoffed and ground her teeth, looking at him for a long moment. At first her eyes held defiance and anger, but they gradually softened, shifted with contemplation until eventually she rolled her eyes and nodded. "Fine…" she hissed, fighting to keep her voice from shaking, but it sounded tearful nonetheless. "You'll owe me."

The conversation was hard to grasp between the Devil and his demon, and it took Chloe several moments to understand. But as Maze reached behind her back and retrieved one of her curved daggers, she startled awake from her ignorance. "Wait! What?! W-w-what are you doing?!"

"Detective…" Lucifer quietly breathed, reaching for her wrist, gently caressing and squeezing. When her troubled eyes met his, he weakly smiled, but it turned into a troubled grimace of pain and sorrow. "Please… I… I don't want them like this. I rather have them all gone. It will be fine. Trust me. Besides… Can't have them be seen from your human police friends now, can we?"

It was unfair the way he could talk about his own self mutilation while smiling at her and keeping in mind the sanity of her colleagues. Unfair, touching and very much disturbing. Wiping away her tears with her free hand, she looked at the dagger, at Maze and back at him. "You're insane," she sobbed, but it was a weak attempt at making him change his mind and she knew it.

"Funny how you realise that just now, Detective," he quipped with a short laugh, but groaned as his twitching muscles reminded him of the raw wounds on his back. "It's gonna be okay." Nodding back at Maze, he shifted around on the ground to give her better access to his back. Focusing back on Chloe, he held her troubled and anxious gaze, but suddenly she moved, scooped towards his head and took a hold of him under his arms. With a careful pull, she lifted his upper body to rest in her lap, and let her fingers shakily comb through his sticky hair. Swallowing, he closed his eyes, finding a sanctuary for the short moment. He knew the pain of what was to come. But Maze had been wrong. It wasn't _worse_ with the Detective around. It was _better_. Not necessarily less painful. But less destructive. Less consuming. Less lonely.

[ **[When the Sun Goes Down - Laney Jones]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCQuD_bEQYk)

Sharing another glance with Maze, Chloe lowered her head in reluctant compliance. While her fingers continued to cradle Lucifer's head in her lap, her eyes were fixated on the morbid looking stumps.

Maze placed her left hand between Lucifer's shoulder blades and took a last, calming breath. Then she positioned her dagger at the top of the right stump in a flat angle and, without taking another breath, sliced in between the main wingbone and the socket of his shoulder blade.

The moment the knife sunk into his flesh and Lucifer's guttural scream tore through the warehouse, she could feel a part of her soul break away and shatter into a million pieces. Blinking away fresh tears, she tightly held onto Lucifer's head, feeling as he was trembling and panting. His fingers were cramping on the ground as he writhed in pain and as she shortly glanced to his back again, Maze took off the first chunk of bone and flesh and put it aside. The crescent looking wound reminded her of when Lucifer had shown off his body towards her for the first time, involuntarily also giving her a close look at his scars. She wondered how back then they had scarred, because right now, it seemed he was rather bleeding to death than being helped.

Maze held her dagger next to Lucifer's head, tension written all over her face. "Heat please," she simply said and waited.

Huffing through his clenched teeth, Lucifer lifted and turned his head, spotting the bloodstained dagger. For a moment he hesitated, but only a split second. Then he raised his hand and tightly gripped the blade, feeling it slice into his palm. It hurt, but it was oh so pleasant in comparison to the pain in his shoulders. A delightful distraction. Focussing his mind as best as he could, he tapped into his divine powers. His ability to _turn things on_ was not only working in a sexual or mechanical way. He could pretty much make the molecular structure of metal change and very literally heat things up if he willed it so. It started like a small, weak glow of an ember and gradually grew into a soaring heat, burning into the flesh of his palm. Once hot enough, he pulled away, lowering his trembling, burnt hand and resting his face back in Chloe's lap.

She hadn't seen him do something like that before, but somehow it came as no surprise he was actually able to make things burn. She watched as Maze did not wait a second to cauterise the wound. _So that's how they did it before…_ Pressing the bright, yellowish shining blade against the raw flesh, she scarred his body and stopped the bleeding with an unsettling calmness as if she had used burning iron a hundred times before. She shuddered, thinking Maze most likely had done so in hell.

Lucifer grunted and tensed beneath the burning pressure. She could feel the film of sweat on his forehead and in his neck. Not giving him a break, Maze dagger sank down again and with a powerful thrust, slipped between the left wingbone and shoulder blade. Seeing as he dug his fingers into the concrete floor and broke _into_ it, Lucifer erupted another soul-shattering scream and her fingers pressed him harder against her, wishing for her touch to have any amount of soothing effect to the agony he was going through. "Shh… it's okay. You've almost made it through," she encouraged him, gently scratching through the short hair on the back of his head.

He was beyond thankful for her presence. Did she have any idea? There was another searing cut and when suddenly there was a weight literally lifted off his shoulders, he whimpered and clutched onto Chloe's jacket, the reality of the situation once more crashing down on him. His wings were gone. _Gone_. He shuddered, unsure of how exactly or even _if_ they could grow back. And that made him sob and cry even harder. For a long time he had not thought fondly of his wings, seeing them as a chain keeping him enslaved and in an obsequious position towards his Father. But he had come to realize they had nothing to do with God, but everything with _himself_. They were part of him. Part of his identity. They were limbs, just like his arms and legs. And now they were gone. Something of him was gone.

"One more time, please," Maze murmured, holding the dagger towards him.

Doing what was asked of him, Lucifer heated the curved dagger anew. The sizzling sound and smell of burnt flesh filled the air and at long last it was over. Trembling and panting, he felt Chloe's fingers touch his cramped up hands and he slowly looked up with pink, puffy eyes.

Smiling down at him, awkward and tearful, Chloe gently pulled his hands closer. He felt icy to the touch and it was worrisome. Sniffing the remains of her own pitiful ordeal of being forced to watch this butchering, she turned towards Maze. "Would you please get a blanket out of my trunk? I'll call this in now."

"Sure," Maze nodded, wiped the dagger at her leather pants and let it disappear behind her back. Picking up the two stumps from the ground she headed back to the door and out of their view.

Calling the station, she explained about the dead body and needing an ambulance. Although she could see Lucifer roll his eyes, she stayed persistent. He did suffer from severe blood loss and despite him being otherwise an immortal angel with supernatural healing abilities, right now he was anything but that. Being told that her team as well as an ambulance will be sent to her location, she hung up and took the blanket Maze brought her. Draping it carefully over Lucifer's back and tucking it around his front, she pulled him closer and rubbed his arms to get some warmth back into him. "The team will be here soon." Glancing up at the demon, she could see her glare ahead with anger not directed at her. She knew that look. "Maze… you know I need to investigate this with my team."

"Oh, I won't be in your way, Decker" she muttered. "But I'm not gonna just sit around and do nothing. I'll search for this scumbag my own way and let you know if I find out anything that is helpful."

"M-Maze," Lucifer pressed with a warning tone, exhaustion written all over his face.

But his loyal demon friend rose her chin in defiance. "Forget it, Lucifer. I'm not letting this pass and just be handled by huma-"

"Maze!" he grumbled to cut her off. Seeing her shoulders sink a notch, his voice immediately softened. "Thank you."

Jaw clenching, she refrained from showing much more emotion than what she already had and instead just nodded at him once, knowing that nothing more needed to be said. Accompanied by a roaring thunder and flashing lightning, fitting to the walking havoc she was, she turned around and left the warehouse.

"She's become such a softie, hasn't she?" Lucifer weakly huffed in jest, pulling his knees closer to curl up in the blanket and rest against Chloe. Eyes drifting to the pool of blood next to them, he swallowed. He hated that she had seen him like this and what she had to witness. And he hated that he couldn't remember what happened, because the gap in his memory made room for thoughts, for speculations and for fears to rise.

The dead man with a knife stuck in his chest was a mystery to be solved just like that of his severed wings and amnesia. And it was scary to think that perhaps he had forgotten about something horrible that he had done himself. The blood on his hands was not his own, or was it? What if it really turned out to be from the man? It was just all too much. Too much pain, confusion and fear to endure, and yet he felt he couldn't slip away into the comfortable darkness again to be rid of it all like he had when he listened to Chloe over the phone.

Tears welling in his eyes again, he looked up at her. "What happened to me?" he whispered, his voice cracking. "And what have I done?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You've made it! Another chapter with blood and gore and a suffering Lucifer! :D Yes… I know, I'm evil. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and are anxiously waiting for more! I'll see you in the next one!
> 
> \- Luni


	3. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright ladies and gentlemen. Time to amp up the pain level. Yeah. I won't go easy on you and our sweethearts. Be ready for the gruesomeness, hurt and angst to continue, here and in further chapters. Enjoy! ;)
> 
> Recommended Songs:
> 
> [Music for a Cruel King - Knight Tales](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4-Hn2d4u34)  
> [Exist Strategy - Nessa's Lament](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Yq-MAxAutk)

* * *

Chapter 3 – Lost

[ **[Music for a Cruel King - Knight Tales]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4-Hn2d4u34)

"Sir, would you _please_ let me take a look at you? I need to make sure you're alright," the paramedic urged, guiding her flashlight over him to get a first impression of his condition.

"You asked this twice already and I've told you again and again that I'll be fine! If you would just _please_ leave me be, that would be splendid, thank you," Lucifer grumbled, busy sulking about his situation, cuddled up against Chloe. But the woman stayed persistent and boldly reached for his right hand, inspecting the blood and looking for injuries. Pulling his hand back and leaning away from her inquisitive stare, he grunted and glared at her sceptically . "I know, I'm a bloody mess, but my hands are certainly _not_ what's hurting me right now!" _Do I really need to flash my eyes at her so she leaves me be?!_

"Not your hands? I see… So where _do_ you hurt, Sir?" she asked in a triumphant-curious tone, her brows rising expectantly.

Lucifer could have sworn she not only sounded sheepish, but that she also had to force away a smirk tugging at her lips. _Dad-dammit!_ "Nowhere I'll let you look! And that's saying quite something, coming from me, trust me," he muttered defiantly, trying to find protection in Chloe's arms. It seemed though, the Detective's gentleness had subsided as well, because she betrayed him by offering the paramedic a smile and an answer that was the final nail to his situational, defiance coffin.

"His back," Chloe answered for him, having mercy on the woman. "Would you please take a look and see if you can help him?" She gave Lucifer a pointed but loving look, hoping his grumpiness would pass. She could understand he was tense about his condition and that he was wary to let anyone near him whom he didn't know and trust whilst being this vulnerable. But he would be of not much help, if he would be like this, especially with her having to follow protocol.

Staring at Chloe in exaggerated disbelief and shock, Lucifer eventually sighed and reluctantly lowered the blanket for the medic. After a couple of moments of her inspecting his freshly burnt skin, he looked at her over his shoulder. "So? What do you say, doctor?"

"These are… fresh. I let you know right away, they will take lots of time to heal." The medic turned to her male colleague who stood a few feet behind her, basic medical equipment slung around his shoulder. "Frank, get the stretcher, will ya? This needs further treatment at the hospital."

Lucifer's eyes widened with shock and protest. "Hospital? What?! No! I'm _not_ going to a hospital!" It was not acceptable. Not _possible_. As he gazed at Chloe, urging her to support him, he was glad to find that she understood how putting an angel into a hospital was not a particularly good idea.

"I'm sorry, but it's important for him to have this handled from the people he knows. If he says he doesn't want to go with you and he is in no lethal danger or mentally incompetent, you're not allowed to force him. Please respect that." She gave Lucifer a short, thin-lipped, but knowing smile, before her wide blown eyes looked insistently at the two medics.

After a few seconds of pondering her situation, the woman sighed and nodded at her colleague. "Fine. Then I'll give those wounds a thorough first aid treatment; Cleansing and a good amount of burn ointment before bandaging him all up. But you have to get this looked after." The woman frowned and exchanged looks with Chloe. Then she began to unpack the kit with her colleague and prepared the utensils. "Perhaps it's best if you distract him. This will hurt quite a bit."

He took a sharp breath, rebellious defiance at the tip of his tongue again. This was preposterous. The woman had no clue about what kind of pain he had already endured. "I'm not a baby. I don't _need_ -"

"Lucifer, please," Chloe insisted, taking his hands and making him lean closer. "Listen. I want you to be okay while we still have to be here." Looking at him pensively, she lowered her voice to add, "While you're _around me_. You can heal up at home in a bit. But you'll have to go through some questioning first and Ella needs to take samples. Then I can bring you home, alright?" She hoped that he'd be wise about it and not make it more complicated. Only wanting the best for him was her top priority, but it also included getting his statement and samples right away, before any possible evidence might be accidentally distorted or washed away.

Home sounded good to him, especially when he was being accompanied by her, but just sitting back and relaxing while someone was walking around with his wings, was definitely not what he wanted. "Fine, but I want to take part in the investigation!"

Sighing, she bit her lip. "You know I can't promise that." Seeing his desolate and pleading look though, made her heart clench. _Why does his charm not work on me, but his puppy eyes do?_ "Okay, I will let you in as soon as you're cleared from the investigation."

But instead of cheering at her words, his expression faltered. "What?! You- You don't honestly think I _killed_ that bloke, do you?!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with hurt.

"Oh, Lucifer, of course I don't think you did it. But _please_ let me have you taken care of medically and be cleared first. Maybe the lab analysis will give us a lead as to what exactly happened to you and that guy. Please?" Returning her own set of puppy eyes at him, she saw his shoulder sink in acceptance.

Relaxing at her words, he nodded. He didn't want to stand in her way and he trusted her skills one hundred percent to handle this with utmost care, wanting to find out who did this just as much as he did. "Alright, alright," he muttered and leaned his forehead to rest down against her shoulder. "Go ahead, doctor. Put your bloody miracle-juice on me already- Oh, I'm sorry, Detective. I didn't mean it like that," he apologized instinctively, a small smile on his lips being unseen by her.

Rolling her eyes, she let out a scoff and nodded at the paramedics to get started. Using one hand to cradle his head against her, she felt how Lucifer reached out and grasped her other, caressing it in turn. It was sweet how he searched for her closeness, not even saying anything about it, and she felt an overwhelming gratitude that he had such trust in her. As she held him tightly, the male medic, Frank, took out a scissor and cut up his ruined shirt. Sliding off of him in pieces, tormented bare skin was revealed. Chloe tried to listen if Lucifer was making a comment about his shirt, but other than a soft sigh, she didn't hear him complain. He was tense though, even though his shoulders seemed relaxed. She could tell he was wary, like a scared dog at the vet that reluctantly accepted treatment.

The medics worked hand in hand, carefully cleaned the marred skin with a disinfectant and applied a generous amount of the transparent gel for burn-treatment. Once they had thoroughly bandaged him with the wound-dressing going broadly around his torso, the female medic gave Lucifer a gentle pat on his arm. "You're all set. Make sure you get the bandages freshened up every day from an expert for the next months until you get cleared."

He wanted to laugh. Of course he wouldn't need _months_ to heal. That was ridiculous. His skin would most likely be all back to normal in two or three days, not that she would be able to witness his divine metabolism work its wonders anyway. He was very happy to not be bothered again about it. "I'm sure I'll manage to take care, doctor," he answered, reluctantly leaning away from Chloe's shoulder to test his own movement, but immediately missing the warmth of her skin and the soothing smell of her perfume filling his nostrils.

Just as the medics began to pack up their kit again, a metal door squeaked and cracked, and several flashlights danced through the hall. Everyone's attention was pulled towards the lights, except that of Lucifer who flinched when the blueish lights flashed in his vision. Suddenly his heart began to thunder, his pulse thrummed in his ears and his fingers started to shake and cramp at his sides. _What the hell…?_ Irritated, he lowered them out of sight, forcing his breathing and pulse to both calm down again. It was difficult, but became easier when a familiar voice echoed through the hall and made known to whom the lights belonged.

"Chloe?!" Dan called out, the flashlights going from left to right as they scanned the big room. "Chloe, where are you?"

Lucifer swallowed and exhaled. Eyes shortly glancing at Chloe, he made sure she hadn't noticed. He didn't want for her to know. _Know what?_ , he wondered silently, but couldn't focus at the deep ache in his chest and the dark glooming pit in his stomach when Chloe's call towards Dan pulled him back to the moment.

"Yes! Over here!" she shouted back, her voice echoing through the hall and easily passing over the thundering storm. "In the far left corner!" A moment later Dan, Ella and two more forensics approached, closing the distance to them in wide strides. Helping Lucifer drape the blanket back around him, she supported him to stand up, not wanting for him to be on the cold, wet ground for a minute longer. "Ella will take some samples from you. I'll talk to Dan and then we take your statement, okay?" she explained again, not thinking that he had forgotten, but it was rather a way to calm him and let him know they were all here for him. While he appeared more or less alright in his behavior, she didn't dare to imagine the suffering that was going on inside him. It was unbelievable to know that he had actually made the conscious decision to have the stumps of his wings removed just minutes before, right after having been mutilated and ditched like trash.

Of course he could see her care, see the help she offered and the thought behind her actions and words. But it all collided with his world in a way he wasn't sure she could comprehend. "Detective," he muttered, his tone low and careful. "If she tests my blood, it will make no sense to her. And if she's smart, which we know she _is_ , then she will find out about me. You're aware of that, yes?"

"I know, Lucifer, but this is an important part of the procedure. I can't just let this be dropped. Let's just not worry over it for now, okay?" she softly said, gently caressing her palm over his cheek. "She'll take lots of other samples and who knows what we'll find. We'll think of something concerning your blood results later. I'm sure it's gonna be fine."

"Alright then." Nodding at her, he watched her step up towards Dan and Ella, exchanging a few words with the Latina, before the forensic came up to him with a devastated expression on her usually so vibrant face. He offered Ella a weak smile, which she returned with a sad one and a raise of her gloved hand in greeting. A greeting that was somewhat distant, because he was a potential suspect as well as victim who had likely all kinds of incriminating evidence all over him. He cringed at the thought.

Turning to the paramedics, Ella quickly let herself be updated on his condition and he could hear the doctor saying ' _probably in shock' and 'heavy third to fourth degree burns'_. When Ella shortly looked back towards him horrified, he swallowed uncomfortably. He didn't like being looked at like _that_ , like a victim, unable to take care of himself. It was quite the contrary. He was the bloody King of Hell for fucks sake! He wasn't helpless and he could certainly take care of himself. Watching the medics wishing him well, he waved them goodbye. They spoke a last word between Dan and Chloe and then headed back outside.

"Hey, I just heard the rough rundown on what happened," Ella uttered concerned as she stepped up to him. "Well, obviously it isn't much to go with yet. I'm so sorry, Lucifer."

Her concern was as genuine and heartwarming as usual and in a way he was glad this procedure would be done by her and not somebody else. "It's alright… I guess I've had it worse…" _Nothing beats my Fall, does it?_

"I'll be taking some pictures of you and then we'll get to the samples," she explained and slung her camera forward.

The click and flash of the camera made him flinch and his arm shot up to shield his eyes in defence. His heart began to thunder once more and a thick lump in his throat made it difficult to breathe.

Shortly lowering her camera, Ella looked at him questioningly. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked, frowning concerned.

 _She noticed. Dammit. I have to keep these reactions in check… What's up with those anyway?_ "I- I'm sorry. I'll try not to flinch again," he avoided her question, plastered on a fake smile that didn't reach his eyes, and let her continue with her work. It was difficult, _very_ difficult, to not flinch, but he managed to reduce it to just a twitch and flutter of his eyes whenever the flash burned into his retinas. It took all of his focus to not move, but eventually he had made it through the procedure and Ella had taken various pictures of him and his clothing.

When she put her equipment away, he was finally able to think about something else than controlling his muscles, and another matter came bubbling up inside him that he needed insight on. Nervously licking his lips, he looked at her. "Miss Lopez? Would you happen to know anything about memory loss and… how to make lost memories return?"

Crouching, Ella sat down the bag containing her camera equipment as well as a second bag, from which she opened the main zip. Looking through the supplies of her science kit, she took out a little package and a few small sticks. "Well, the most important thing would be to not stress yourself on the memory part. I know, it sounds weird, trust me. Obviously you _want_ to remember, but you can't _force_ your brain on that matter. The memories can come back step by step or all at once. Many people suffering from a trauma induced amnesia are recovering the lost memories over time. You have to be patient with yourself."

He nodded thoughtfully, although what she stated sounded wrong. He needed closure on what had happened to him and what he had done. It wasn't just about missing parts of a boozed night where he had forgotten how he got home. Putting aside that this was entirely a human issue, and not one of his, of course. No. He _had_ to remember, at all costs. The faster the better. His wings in the hands of a human had already led to a disaster before. But now they had been taken off of his body directly and it was a whole nother level of invasion into his privacy. He wanted to catch the one responsible, feel the pulse of his thundering pulse in his palm and… He bit down on his tongue to not think any further. _No murderous thoughts while being investigated. It wouldn't help me..._ Licking his lips, he gazed at her insistently. "But… is it _certain_ that I _will_ remember?"

Ella's movements stopped just as she had taken a sterile tissue from her kit. She hesitated, her eyes growing softer and a bit sadder. "I… I can't tell. As far as I know, there's a fifty-fifty chance. You might get snippets and that would be a great start that sets more into motion." Seeing him look down, she frowned. "Hey. I'm sure you'll have it all return. I know you're not all too fond of the Big Guy, but… just have a bit of faith."

Of course he wasn't putting any form of faith in his Father to help him with this, but Ella did have a point. Positivity went a long way. He needed to trust in his own strength to recover his memory. The only issue that made his mind waver was that he wasn't all too sure if he would like what could be revealed. Eyes resting once more on his blood stained hands, he stayed quiet as Ella gently took his left hand for a swipe and then used another tissue, swiping his right.

She bagged both samples, labelled them and stored them in her kit. Moving on, she took more samples from under his fingernails as well as a swipe from his mouth. Next in line was the processing of his clothes. With more prepared swaps she packed the ruined shirt rags off the ground and took samples from his pants as well as his shoes. Everything professionally taken care of and labelled, she looked at him carefully. "I remember we have your fingerprints, but I don't think we've ever had a blood sample of you in our database, so I'd need to take a fresh bit to compare with all the other traces, okay?"

Nodding, he held out his right bare forearm to her. "Go ahead," he mouthed, watching as she took a few utensils for the blood sampling. As the needle of the syringe broke through his skin, he didn't really notice, his eyes solely focused on Chloe, the reason for the needle being able to pierce through his skin in the first place. She was still talking with Dan. By now they had walked over to the dead man a few feet away and Chloe nodded as she discussed something with Dan. The other forensics were stepping around the body, marking traces and taking samples and pictures of evidence. Thankfully the flash was further away and not bothering him too much. One of the forensics carefully removed the knife from the man's chest and bagged it. A gentle pressure against the crook of his arm, made him look back at Ella, spotting she had just been done taking his blood sample and had put a little tissue against the puncture. _How cute._

"There. All done," Ella said smiling at him softly. She gave Chloe and Dan a signal, gesturing to them she'd continue processing the crime scene. "Lucifer, I know this is a bad moment to come up with it, but… when you come to the station tomorrow, could you bring the rest of your clothing you're wearing right now?"

He needed a moment to grasp what she asked. But as he understood, he nodded, thankful for her approach. She didn't want to send him to the precinct where he'd be given a set of plain clothes, but let him change into his own clothes at home. She put her trust in him that he'd bring her his worn clothes from today and not get rid of them. Most likely quite a bend of procedure, to his favour. "Of course, Miss Lopez." Offering her a soft, weak smile he took over on the pressure point of the puncture and lifted the tissue to take a look at the small little hole. A small droplet of blood came forth and triggered a sudden, shuddering impact blacking out his senses and his surrounding. Everything faded and he could feel his body losing ground.

_~o~_

_There's a throat. He realizes it's his throat. He swallows. It's difficult. It hurts. A hand comes into his vision, a male one, guiding a syringe in front of his face and then out of his view. Where did it go? Suddenly he feels a sharp sting and something slides deep into the side of his throat. It's uncomfortable as it's pulled out again. Then there's three soft claps on what he thinks must be his shoulder - like a 'good boy'. Is it his shoulder? He's not sure._

" _Any second now…" he hears a muffled, male voice near his ear. Why does it sound muffled?_

_And then the blazing torment starts. He feels his veins on fire, like burning magma rushing through his arteries. He tries to scream but can't. He tries again, but no sound loves his mouth. Sweat is covering his skin and he twitches in pain, something is holding him in place, forcing him to stay put. He can't move. Not an inch. He's panicking. He wants to get out. To get away._

" _Shush… be a good Devil and behave…" the voice purrs darkly, indifferent to the pain he's suffering._

_He wants out._

_Now._

_Out. Out. Out. Out. Out…._

_~o~_

A sharp slap to his cheek makes him snap back.

"Lucifer? Hey?! Lucifer, look at me!" Chloe's voice rang alarmed.

Blinking rapidly, he took fast, flat breaths, feeling his pulse thundering still from what he had just seen. He gazed at Chloe with his eyes wide open, his jaw clenched tight. His head and back hurt and he realized he lay on the ground again, staring up. Both of Chloe's hands cupped his face, her thumbs gently caressing his cheeks, but her warmth didn't reach into his trembling core. Lips quivering, he anxiously looked into her ocean blues to ground himself. "I- I just r-remembered s-s-somethin-ng. I think I- I- I was injected with a d-drug."

"Easy there, Lucifer. You're still shaking all over," Chloe softly said, carefully helping him to sit up again. Reaching for the blanket that had fallen down from his trembling hands, she draped it around his back. He looked horrible, in complete shock and had chattering teeth. She'd never seen him all this hurt and broken before, so anxious and desperate. He looked completely lost. "Shh… it's okay, Lucifer. Take some deep breaths. Take your time."

It was hard to focus, the memories feeling like a recent wound that burned and hadn't yet stopped bleeding. Through clenched teeth, he took some more breaths until after another minute, his heart was finally slowing down and his breath had calmed along with it. Swallowing and licking his lips, he tried to put everything together again. "I remember that there was a man. I could see his hand and hear his voice. He pricked me with a syringe... And then… I- I felt-" He paused, glancing between Chloe, Ella and Dan who were all standing around him, staring at him in worry and curiosity, all tense and alert. " _Felt what?"_ was written all over their faces. He couldn't share what was itching on his tongue though. He wanted for Chloe and the others to know the important things, but not how he had been in searing pain and desperate to scream. No. That wouldn't be helpful or important to know. "...I tried to move away, but something kept me in place."

"Were you tied up? Or maybe bound against something?" Dan asked pensively, his notepad in hand, writing down every detail Lucifer explained. "Did you see his face? Or could you see where you were being held hostage?"

"I… I'm not sure, I…" he stuttered, stressed and pressured. He pushed into the dark black hole in his mind, concentrating with all his strength to try and reveal some of the buried memories, but nothing more came to the surface. Exhausted and disappointed, he shook his head, his eyes burning. _Bloody hell, I'm NOT going to fucking cry…_ "I don't remember," he muttered in a tight voice, his throat constricted with emotions he wanted to bury further than six feet.

It was of course a disadvantage to not know any more details, but a small recovery was also a good start and better than nothing, Chloe thought. "Okay, that's alright," she commented understandingly. "Tell us the last thing you remember before you woke up here. What were you doing?"

Closing his eyes, he searched for the last memories he could clearly grasp. But despite him remembering, the images felt blurry, less vibrant and lacking their intensity nonetheless. "I was at home, taking care of some phone calls in the morning. I had lots of time left until I'd meet with you, so I went down to Lux and had a few patrons asking me for favours. I… I believe I took care of those as well." He could remember the soft burn of his scotch sliding down into his stomach and some fleeting looks of people he had talked with. But the faces were a blur and the conversations foggy.

"You _believe_? Who were those people? Got any names?" Dan asked, taking more notes of what Lucifer had explained so far.

"No, I… I don't know. The memories at Lux are… vague," Lucifer muttered, his fingers tugging the blanket tighter. "I can't remember the details," he added with a shaking voice, and looked at Chloe, knowing she could read his wish to just leave this hell and be out of this conversation.

"Alright then. Chloe said you don't know this man over there. Could he have been one of those patrons you've talked to? Did you take a close enough look at him?" Dan continued his questioning, his features tense. "Are you sure you haven't seen him befo-"

Each question Dan asked felt like a stab into his chest, mocking him over his lost memories. With balled fists, he made two shaky steps towards Dan, towering over him with his teeth bared. "I told you, I don't know!" he bellowed at him angrily and frustrated, forcing back the tears that stung in his eyes. "I don't remember! I don't bloody remember _anything_!"

Chloe could understand him snapping. It was just too much of everything, the pain, the memory loss, the loss of his wings, and Dan hadn't been particularly sensible with his questioning either. She gently tugged at Dan's sleeve and when she had his attention, she shook his head at him silently, indicating that this statement was over. Turning back towards Lucifer, she carefully rubbed along his left arm's side. "It's fine Lucifer. That's all for now. Come on. The team will be collecting more evidence. I'll bring you home." She helped him along through the warehouse and stepped out into the pouring rain, guiding him to her car parked close-by.

[ **[Exist Strategy - Nessa's Lament]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Yq-MAxAutk)

Settled inside and back on the road, Lucifer remained quiet, pushing aside the pain in his shoulder blades. He noticed how Chloe put on the heater. When she offered him a smile and nod to his hands, he realised they had started trembling again. He knew it was because of the missing wings and not because of the cold. It wasn't freezing outside, it was that his own body's heat generators were gone. _Gone… More like "ripped away from me"…_

It all had been so different back then, when he had removed the wings on his own. Of course it had been painful, but at least he knew what was happening. Forcing down the bile that threatened to come up, he straightened himself up in his seat. The idea of someone mutilating his body while he was drugged was devastating, sickening and it also made no sense. _How could that syringe even slide into my throat when Chloe wasn't around? How could that drug work on my system?_ _What the fuck has that sick piece of shit done to me?!_

"Okay, we're here," Chloe quietly spoke and pulled over at the sidewalk. Looking over at him concerned, she saw him deep in thought and again he looked so unbelievably lost, slumped down in his seat, slightly shaking, his eyes glassy and distant.

The light pull against the seatbelt as the car came to a halt made him blink and focus on their surroundings. Lux. Despite the heavy rain, the line in front of the club was still several meters long and the guests took shelter beneath umbrellas and fancy coats. It looked as if literally not a thunderstorm could ruin their determination to have a fun night at his club. Staring at the crowd, his mind wandered to his penthouse. _What is it gonna be like? What does it look like? Will there be any indicators as to what I did or what happened to me?_

"Lucifer? Are you alright?" Chloe asked after a full minute of watching him not move an inch. She wished she could read his mind, wished she knew exactly what she could do to help sooth him, but she wasn't sure at all about anything. All she knew was that he was not okay, despite him trying to stay composed and look normal. He was far from that.

 _What if I find something? What if it has proof that I murdered that guy? What if I find something that gives me another flashback? She wouldn't be there. And she obviously doesn't intend to stay here, does she? We were supposed to meet for dinner at her place. With her spawn. And now I'd be here all night. Away from her. Away from them both. Alone._ "I… I don't want to be here right now." He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, bugged that he couldn't keep his voice steady, but that it sounded shaky and weak. "I… I don't think I can-"

"It's fine," she cut him off, reaching out with her right hand and placing it above his left on his leg. Offering him a reassuring smile, she tenderly squeezed his broad hand. "You wanted to come to my place this evening anyway. And Trixie would be really happy to see you. You can stay with us." She hoped he would agree. Not that he had many other places to go to, expect perhaps Maze, but she wanted him close rather than this far away, alone and in shock. Holding his wide brown eyes that were practically overflowing with emotions, she saw him nod and released a relieved breath. "Would you like me to grab you some clothes for you to change into? You can wait in the car."

He couldn't understand how he deserved such perfection. How she was so caring, so thoughtful and loving to him. But it made his heart ache for her even more, his mind quickly reeling over the wish to lean over and kiss her, to force away the inner turmoil and just lose himself in _some_ happiness with her. "Yes… That would be kind," he replied almost timidly, his voice strained, less from the pain of his back, and more from his hammering, longing heart.

"Alright. I'll be back shortly. Just relax." Giving his hand a last squeeze, she unbuckled and got out of the car. Heading straight to the elevator, she rode to his penthouse, thinking for the umpteenth time that it was weird he had no code or key for his penthouse level, even though he was the Devil and probably able to kick any intruder's ass so hard he'd fly through the window straight back down - not that he'd ever do that, unless said intruder would miraculously land in a pile of pillows. Still, the unprotected privacy of him felt unnerving and it bothered her even more now that Lucifer had been truly harmed. Maybe the person responsible had paid him a visit here and Lucifer hadn't been prepared to be overwhelmed like that in his own four walls.

When she entered his penthouse, she shortly took a look around, doing a rudimental examination like a first glance to a crime scene. She was glad to see that nothing laid broken or thrown around, indicating a struggle or fight. It gave her a bit calm, but she knew it also didn't have to mean all too much. Striding inside, she ran her hands over the expensive counter, spotting an empty glass and a half filled ashtray, likely from his afternoon of doing calls. _I guess Ella will pick up his phone at the crime scene... We could check his calls from today_ … _Maybe Lucifer could even call them again, see if he can remember a bit more..._

Releasing a pent up breath, she headed over to his bedroom, spotting it in its usual perfection, always looking inviting to ruffle sheets. Smiling to herself, she passed through the room and stepped into his spacious dressing room. She quickly looked around spotting a big enough leather duffel and hoped he wouldn't mind the wrinkles it would cause on the clothes. She selected a full set of a three piece suit that she knew would be a good combination for him, added accessories to the side pocket and at last took a pair of shoes.

When she returned to her car, Lucifer was slumped down in the passenger seat, his eyes hooded. Quickly slipping back into the car, she heard him release a startled gasp. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I've got you something nice to change into."

"Thank you," he replied quietly, exhaled a long breath and rested his right arm against the window ledge. Leaning towards the side, he closed his eyes, pulling the blanket around himself tighter. The car was moving again, but he didn't watch their surroundings, not that the darkness and heavy rain would give much of a view to take in anyway. He retreated into his mind again, trying to think of ways to search for his wings his own way. Of course he appreciated the human strategies on the matter, but missing angel wings could hardly be their official goal. He had seen how difficult it was the last time his wings were involved. No. He would use his own connections and methods as much as he could, calling out into his network of people with certain knowledge and sending them out on a hunt for information. The actual hunt of the culprit though, that was something he wanted to take care of himself.

And whatever sorry-assed soul was responsible for his situation... would have hell to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That's it for this chapter! What do ya think?! Curious to know your reactions and your ideas even though it's still super early. but I love to hear wild speculations! xD Have a wonderful day and see you in the next one!
> 
> \- Luni


	4. Cleansing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welcome back my friends of hurt and comfort! Since I have been such a bad girl to you all with my latest Nightfall chapter, I decided to release this before New Year as sort of a peace offering for the time being. I hope this will heal your aching hearts for a while. At least a little bit. Enjoy! ;)
> 
> Recommended Songs:  
> [Bishop Briggs - Be Your Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa8bn1-Er4E)  
> [Gold Brother - Lose My Faith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nb13x-4x4Q)  
> [UNSECRET - No Sanctuary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5vASpFCLiM)

* * *

Chapter 4 – Cleansing

"It's fine, Detective. I can walk," he softly protested, although not turning down her helpful hand that merely guided rather than supported him as they stepped to her door. It was a blessing to feel her touch on him in whatever way and his mind drifted with the imagination of her tender hands being able to do miracle healings to his back. What an irony it would be, to be mortal around her, but have her tend to his wounds and make him feel whole again. He caught her eye roll, but also the tiny curl of her lips, a sight he very much enjoyed and that warmed him up more than the blanket had been able to do all throughout their ride.

As soon as Chloe opened the door, the sound of another door opening could be heard and was followed by footsteps rushing closer. Having just been able to step inside and rid themselves of mud-covered shoes, Trixie came up rushing towards them, dressed in her PJ's.

"Lucifer!" she exclaimed, her voice happy and relieved. Running up to him, she clutched herself against his waist, cheek pressing against his bare stomach.

"Ahh… h-hello, child," he gasped a bit awkwardly, watching as the little girl had no repulsions snuggling against his skin. Her cheek felt warm, just like her mother's touch, and he caught himself releasing a calm humm at her gesture of affection. _Bloody hell, that little urchin is making me feel all fuzzy..._

"I was worried about you! Mom said you were in trouble." She looked up at him, her almond shaped eyes going wide at the notice of the big bandages wrapped around his torso. "You're injured! What happened?!"

"Monkey, please," Chloe softly insisted, gave her girl a kiss on her head and shrugged out of her wet jacket. "Give Lucifer some time to arrive and rest, okay?"

"I'm out of danger now, child, and the injuries will heal in no time," Lucifer tried to ease her worries and looked down at her, spotting her sceptical look. "Really. I'll be fine." Watching as she sniffed and squeezed his waist again a bit tighter, he gave her a gentle pat on the back. He could tell she was still concerned by the shimmer of fear in her eyes and it was heartbreaking to see. His answer was not enough to fully ease her worries like it was once possible just a year ago. She was growing more observant, was demanding a more specific explanation and to be treated more like the teenager she was growing into, rather than the little girl he had met at her elementary school. "I was hurt on my back. Rather badly. And I… I cannot remember who it was and how it happened. I was told the memories could return over time. And now," he explained, putting an emphasis on his following words with a small smile. "I honestly just want to get out of these bloody rags."

Chloe observed him, forcing herself to not cry as he spoke with Trixie. He was so sweet with her and whether he believed it or not, he had a special spot in Trixie's heart. And her baby girl, growing too fast for her liking, was a curious sweetheart with a heart as big as a mountain and made out of gold, always wanting to help those in need. It didn't come as much of a surprise for her when Trixie nodded and offered her perspective to help him.

"I totally understand! My friend Jimmy had hit his head when he was skateboarding once, and he needed a few days as well to remember what happened," she told him thoughtfully and made a few steps back. "I'm sure you'll get your memories back as well."

His brows knitted in slight confusion. A skateboard accident and having one's wings forcefully removed - A rather poor comparison, he thought, but still he felt his heart clench again from her effort to support him. _Damn that little rascal…_

Then Trixie's eyes went wide and she flashed him a cheeky smile. "I've made a bunch of sandwiches, cause… you know… you and Mom weren't there to cook for dinner. There are a few spare ones, if you're hungry."

_And now she's offering me food?!_ Nervously, he fumbled with the blanket. Her innocence and kindness were so pure, so overwhelming, he wondered, if her mother being a miracle had perhaps any influence on the child as well. _Is she somehow blessed by Father as well because Chloe gave birth to her? A miracle giving birth to another miracle and so on? Is that a thing?_ "I erm… Thank you, spawn. That's very thoughtful of you," he stuttered and followed Chloe and her into the kitchen.

As he glanced around over to the dining table, his shoulders sank. The table was ready laid with plates and cutlery and two small candles sitting in the centre. And of course everything was untouched. Chloe had it prepared for their dinner together. It wasn't set as an overly romantic dinner table, since it would have been also with her daughter, but it was prepared to be welcoming, warm and comforting. He pledged to himself to make it up to her, when he'd get the chance. And he knew it wouldn't just be for her and her girl, but he wanted to indulge in that moment as well. He yearned to feel the belonging among them.

Taking out a plate with two sliced sandwiches from the fridge, Chloe smiled at her daughter. "Thanks, Monkey. But now hop to bed, it's really late." Taking her into a tight hug, she kissed her girl goodnight.

"Okay! Night Mom. Night Lucifer. Love you!" Trixie called and rushed back into her room. A few seconds passed and the lights from under the door went out, indicating she had snuggled back into bed.

Staring after the girl, Lucifer stood dumbfounded. Never had a child said those words to him. _That must've been an accident. Surely she just meant her mother. Or she didn't really mean it at all. Children say so many things that make no dad-damn sense…_ But still, the girl's words managed to crack up his shell and nestle against his core, like only her mother had managed before, caressing him with warm and honest affection.

"I'll take the sandwiches upstairs. We can have them after getting you cleaned up," Chloe said, observing as Lucifer's trance-like stare focused back on her again. "Come on." Duffel bag in her left and plate of sandwiches in her right hand, she went upstairs and into her bedroom. Putting the bag on a basket chair and the plate aside on the nightstand, she heard Lucifer let out a soft grunt.

Getting straight to ridding himself off of his ruined clothes, he lowered the blanket, but felt a sharp pain when he moved his shoulders a bit too quickly. Tightly gripping onto the thick blanket, he yanked it off with one hand, breathing hard through clenched teeth. As Chloe turned towards him, reaching for his arms, he grumbled annoyed about his own body's state. "It's okay… It's just… just the first day that is the worst."

The thought of him _knowing_ this experience, because he had removed his wings before, sent shivers down her spine and contrary to Lucifer's conditions, she wished she could forget and unsee the removal of his wing stumps as the images popped up in her mind made her feel sick. "Is the burn ointment even making sense for your angelic healing progress?" she wondered and turned to his side to glimpse at his back where the massive crescent wounds were patched up and covered from the bandages.

"Not really. I mean… maybe a little in your presence. Honestly, I just wanted for the medic to finally leave me be. I don't like strangers touching that specific area. I trust you can understand," he murmured, weakly smiling at her. He had always felt very reserved when it came to his shoulder blades being touched, especially during the time he had walked around scarred before. With his overnight guests he had made evasive moves they wouldn't notice, but that would keep them away from touching them intentionally or by accident. Once he had removed his wings and cauterized the wounds, he hadn't even allowed Maze to touch him there. The medic was the first person he allowed to intentionally touch him, and he only did so because he was in Chloe's arms, giving his mind something beautiful to focus on, rather than the tormenting, physical pain.

"Would you rather have the bandages off again?" she breathed, eyes gazing deeply back up into his, genuinely wondering how much of a bother they were for him. Watching him timidly nod, she bit her lips and caressed over his arms. "Okay. I'll take them off then." Turning him around with a soft nudge, she opened the fastening and carefully started to unwrap the bandage, revealing beneath, the two separate patches covering his wounds.

"Take it all off, please," Lucifer whispered, his breathing hard and shaky. Hands fisting at his sides, he pushed away the pain once again, focusing solely on her presence, her warmth and tender hands. He smiled to himself, thinking he could be dying the most gruesome death and still feel like he was in his personal heaven as long as she'd be there. He felt her very carefully and slowly peel off the big patches covering his marred skin, making sure she wasn't causing more harm with her movements.

[ **[Bishop Briggs - Be Your Love]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa8bn1-Er4E)

[ **[Gold Brother - Lose My Faith]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nb13x-4x4Q)

Her touch was calming and igniting him at the same time, reminding him of the longing he had been in all day long while he had waited for their date to happen. And as soon as the covers were off and he felt the cool air against them, he couldn't wait anymore. Letting out a relieved sigh, he quickly turned towards her. One arm slipping around her waist and pulling her against him, his other snaked up the side of her neck. "I don't remember much of today. But I _do_ remember how much I looked forward to seeing you tonight."

She gasped into his sudden, boisterous move, her body reacting with a hot surge tingling from her belly and travelling down south. It should be called illegal what his mere voice was able to do to her. Tilting her face up, she breathed heavily and hot against his lips, feeling his own shaky exhales, yearning. She had been all jittery herself all day long. Knowing she would be busy having a day filled with paperwork and a long meeting with her boss, she had told him early on that he'd probably want to skip being at the office today. But not having him around had left her thinking about him even more and as soon as she had been able to head home, she was an excited, nervous mess.

A sudden spark of guilt shook through her synapses, the responsible, lawful and rational part of her brain protesting with doubt. Should she be doing this? After he had been so horribly hurt, was this the right thing to do? It was highly possible that Lucifer was trying to deflect, to cover up his own pain, push it aside with something pleasant. But would he use her for that? Did it make any difference? Couldn't it actually be the exact _right_ thing to do? If his pain was bearable, a tender, loving evening to ease the events of the day didn't sound like such a bad idea at all. And if it would help him cope and decrease his suffering, she was more than happy to get naughty with the Devil.

Hands slipping to his stubbly cheeks, she paused and frowned at the sight of dried blood stains around his mouth. "You gotta get cleaned up first. Do you think you can do a warm shower with your back? Or should I help you at the sink?" she breathed sweetly, lips curling into a sorry but sweet smile as she tapped against his lips with her index finger.

Groaning, he leaned forward, rested his forehead against hers and lightly kissed her finger. Of course, she was right. He really needed to clean himself off of all the dirt and blood if he wanted to kiss those delicious lips and roam her body with his hands. "Shower sounds good and will work. The heat isn't an issue." And when she took his hand from her waist, pulling him along, his mind sparked with an idea. Yes. Yes this would work very well to take his mind off of the pain in his back and the searing ache in his chest. And he would also get to enjoy something he had hoped he would be doing anyway after their dinner. Willingly and bewitched, he followed her along as she pulled him into the bathroom.

Once in the heated room, she took off her white sweater and watched his eyes darken, his Adam's Apple moving in a quiet gulp. He stood motionless for a second, but then stepped closer to her, fingers unerringly slipping to her jean's waistband and undoing the button and zipper. Both their breaths hitched again, their yearning so evident. She caressed over his chest, feeling his thundering heart before he lowered down to his knees, helping her out of her tight jeans.

Unable to resist, he leaned in to her inner left thigh, but instead of kissing the soft skin, he lightly traced his tongue in a line towards her centre. He was rewarded with a light hum and short snicker, because he knew she was ticklish. Hands lightly brushing up her legs, he dipped into the sides of her lace panties and pulled the thin fabric down as well, eyes devouring her exposed sex. Releasing a soft sigh, he lightly brushed his nose just above her sensitive skin, inhaling her scent. _Soon…_ he thought, reluctantly raising up again and finding her wide blue eyes observing him attentively, making him see the full range of her emotions for him.

He leaned in again, this time to her neck, running the flat of his tongue ever so lightly over the length towards her shoulder. Invitingly, she tilted her head, giving him the reins to tenderly taste and praise her skin as both their hands went back to remove unwanted clothing; his brushing over her sides towards her back, unclipping her bra, and hers opening his belt and ruined dress pants. Helping each other out of the last bits of fabric, they stepped into the shower that was just about big enough to fit them both in comfortably.

Chloe turned on the water, setting it to a comfortable warmth and took her washcloth from the little shelf at the side of the showerwall. With a bit of shower gel, she gently cleaned his cheeks, chin and lips. She could tell he was waiting, impatiently so, but all the gentleman, and the moment she was done and the blood was washed off from his face, he leaned down, hungrily delving his tongue into her mouth. She moaned, her arms slinging around his neck, her lips melting with his as he explored and caressed her.

_Oh sweet heaven…_ His mind felt light and dizzy, his body tingling and burning. It was addictive to taste her, to have her, but she was an addiction he never wanted to miss again. Instead he wanted to happily overdose from her, again and again, until he could feel her pulse in his veins and her hands pumping his heart. He shifted closer, turning them around so she rested back against the wall. Groaning, he pressed against her, his hard member resting against her lower belly. "I had wanted this for dessert," he breathed, dreamily grinding his hips to get friction against her soft skin.

"Let's be unseemly and have dessert first then." Smirking coyly, she bit her lip and lowered her hand with the washcloth down his chest and stomach, reaching lightly around his pulsing shaft. His reaction was truly divine; Soft, plum lips parted in a sultry, hot gasp. His body caved in towards her, palms supporting him against the wall left and right above her head, and his eyes squeezed shut, relishing in her touch.

Moaning as she started to stroke him, he trembled in sweet suffering, his blood rushing down south and thumping in his length. It took all of his willpower to do something other than merely receiving her touch, but at last, he managed to reach to the small ledge and gather himself some shower gel in his palms. He wanted to _really_ touch her. Squashing the liquid, he cleaned off the blood from his hands and forearms and only once no stain was left on them did he reach for her body. With fervor he gripped around her waist, digging his fingers into her bum as his mouth crushed back against hers. Tasting her was like drinking sweet, honey-like medicine that immediately soothed a physical aching pain, but it also turned him on so much more. The searing pain in his back, the gruelling loss of memory, the fears of what he had possibly done and what had been done to him, were all pushed aside through the sensations he felt with her, veiled from an electrified sexual buzz in his brain. Yes, the distraction worked perfectly.

Feeding off of each other's moans, he picked her up, swallowing the soft gasp that escaped her. Her hand dropped the washcloth with a wet thud on the ground and she quickly reached both arms around his neck, her legs eagerly slinging around his waist, clinging herself firmly against him. Lips pulling away from her, he took in her expression, her skin flushed to a hot pink, her lips swollen as she gasped in desire, and her eyes tearing him apart in the most passionate way imaginable. Holding her gaze, he guided her down on him, feeling how she wasn't just wet from the water cascading over them, but leaking a plethora of arousal for him as well. With ease he slid all the way into her and released a whimpering sound of relief when he hit the base, his tip pressing right against her cervix. A perfect fit.

Her world imploded, like it always did when she felt him stretch and fill her. Her vision darkened as her eyes rolled up in pleasure, unable to continue watching his hungry, dark brown eyes observe her reaction. Jaw dropping open laxly, she let out a blissful cry as he pressed himself just a bit harder into her, eliminating the last bit of unfilled space inside her. Reflexively she combed one hand into his wet tresses, gripping tightly, her other clutching around the top of his shoulder for stability. He had her pinned, filled her and his tall body was crowding and towering her, making her feel just right, protected, desired and claimed at the same time, all of which drove her mad with lust. "Mmmm yes... Take me, Lucifer," she breathed, turning his head and pulling it into the crook of her neck so she could hold him closer if even possible. "Please, take me."

Her pleas were an igniting prayer to his body and soul, and he complied to her wish with ardour, buckling his hips in deep, sharp thrusts. Latching onto her neck, he sucked, licked and tasted her heated skin, and released a deep groan as her tightness contracted in pulses around him. He loved the way her body reacted to his own, how it would welcome him, tight, warm and wet, pulling him in and telling him how good he felt for her. It was crazy how everything was feeling intensified with her around, every sensation feeling so much more rich and colourful, and laced with a deep rooted meaning he hadn't experienced before. Pleasing her was always his priority, and while right after that came his selfish wish to indulge in the pleasure along with her, he could tell how their sex was connecting them beyond the physical. How it was always more than just sex.

One arm staying on her bum, he used his other to give the respective cheek a firm spank. She gasped both in surprise and delight, and her body tensed around his hardness, making him release a low groan in return. Running his free hand up her flank, he went on and lewdly groped her left breast, squeezing and moulding it in his palm, feeling her heartbeat furiously pounding in her chest. Pulling his head back from her neck, he brought his lips down to her nipple, sucking on the pointed nub with gusto while he continued to thrust into her with long and powerful blows. He was aware what he was doing to her, pleasing her perfectly, pushing her relentlessly and absolutely mercilessly towards her release with all the skill he had and all the strength he could muster, and he looked forward to that moment when she just couldn't hold back anymore, when she would cry out in despair and satisfaction, a true image of angelic.

She knew she wouldn't be able to hold on for long, but tried her best to prolong her release, even though Lucifer's precise thrusts made that quite the challenge and close to impossible. If she wanted to, she knew he would always go on and please her more until she would be satisfied. Arching her chest towards him, she pressed her head back against the shower wall, feeling him so stiff and throbbing, so perfectly filling her, she begged him for more. Because she knew he could give it to her. He could give her everything.

Never wavering to fulfil her desires, he complied to her wish again. Shifting his arms, he hooked her legs into the crook of his elbows and with the better grip on her, increased the speed of his thrusts, relishing in the sounds their connecting bodies made. He watched her, dark and hungry, growling with primal desire, as she closed her eyes and bit her lip, forcing her cries to stay low. Grunting from the force of his thrusts and the feel of her channel swelling and clenching down on him, he pushed her legs up, making them rest against his chest and shoulders. With one arm keeping her steady, he lifted his free hand to her face, thumb plopping her lip out from between her teeth. "Don't hold back," he panted lowly. "I want to hear you, love. Don't worry, I've got you."

Feeling Lucifer's strong thumb release her lip, she cried out a trembling, high moan, fingers desperately clutching onto his neck and shoulder. Her core felt vibrating, her insides contracting, close to falling apart, as he aimed his thrusts mercilessly at the spongy spot inside her. "Oh yes, _fuck_ , Lucifer, please… please, I'm almost… almost there."

Her sight was magnificent, and her cries and the lure of her body, pushing him towards his own release, caused his balls to draw up, heavy and thick. Increasing his speed again, he dipped forward and lewdly licked into her mouth, soaking up her moans and whimpers, tasting the need from her tongue until he had to pull away for her to breathe. Sharing their hot, damp breath, he ran his free hand over her chest and up to her throat, before making her tilt her head to the side. Greedily attacking her throat, sucking and licking along her carotid, he finally felt her stiffen in her powerful orgasm.

With Lucifer's attention to all the right places on and inside of her body, the thread to her bearings finally tore apart and sent her into a quivering, all consuming climax. Lips parting, she released a lecherous, loud groan, fingers digging into his biceps and shoulders strong enough to show pink marks as she scraped at him in pure bliss. She felt him keep up his pace, never wavering, always delivering and pleasing to his best abilities. Her walls continued to cramp down on him in waves, lusting and demanding for that final union from him to be a whole.

The feel and sound of her release was his demise into his sexual sanctuary. With only a handful of thrusts more into her wet, convulsing heat, he was pushed over the edge, his vision turning red from the sizzling hellfire he felt explode in them. The pressure in his balls tightened again and at last pressed through his shaft to the salvaging freedom. Growling into her neck, his grip on her thighs tightening, he thrusted harder, more brute and frantic, losing the carefulness and precision from before as he came deep inside her.

Mouthing soft whimpers of relief, he glanced at the place at her neck he had been attacking, red and scrubbed from his stubble and the relentless praise of his mouth. Licking over the irritated skin with languid strokes, he released a sigh of exhaustion, the pulse in his lower body slowly calming. "Mmm… that was a wonderful dessert, darling." Nuzzling against her cheek, he sweetly trailed kisses to her mouth, lightly nibbling her lower lip. Carefully he lowered her legs and let her gather her balance, murmuring over the bittersweet loss of her pleasant tightness around him.

Smiling against his lips, she gave his nose a nuzzle back. "I can only agree on that," she breathed with a snicker, lowering her hands to caress over his chest. She wasn't ashamed feeling utterly attracted to his sculpted body, but she did wonder if it was his angelic metabolism that kept him in this shape or if he actually took time to work out and she just hadn't noticed it. On the other hand she wasn't all too sure what such a workout would even look like for the Devil. _Maybe he's lifting cars in the underground carpark of Lux?_

Seeing her dreamy look, he let out a soft, amused laugh. "Alright my dear phantast. I'm not done with you yet. It's time to clean up the mess from my dessert plate," he purred, swiftly gliding down onto his knees. Eyes filled with mischief he held her gaze as he ran his hand down along her left thigh and calf. Moving a hand behind her left knee, he raised her leg and kept it up angled, her centre on delicious display for him. And with a wantonly growl, he dipped between her legs, delving into the second part of his dessert. Tongue lapping out, he tasted their mixed arousal, drinking from her with long, diligent strokes and slurps. The immediate reactions of feeling Chloe's hand bury in his hair and releasing a whimpering moan were like the cherry on top of the cake he was devouring and he approved it with another hot growl into her slick folds.

"Oh, sweet _fucking_ Jesus!" Chloe gasped, when suddenly Lucifer's tongue delved deep into her, curling and flicking over the sensitive spot that just barely had gotten any time to relax. Finger's curling tightly into Lucifer's wet hair, she pulled him further between her legs, her knees starting to tremble at the onslaught of pleasure he offered her. It was almost a shame how quickly he could bring her to the edge of her body's control, but she was glad he never teased her about it. She knew he loved her genuine reactions to him and she was well aware how much influence she had on him in return.

She tasted amazing and it would be impossible for him to decide whether he liked the taste of purely her most or that of their combined arousal. Soon he tasted only the sweetness of her, all his own salty gift greedily drunk from her well, and he decided to offer her some more pressure to explode upon. Letting his tongue slip out of her, he closed his lips around the swollen nerve bundle, sucking and flicking over it, while he raised his left hand beneath his chin. Palm faced up, he ran his middle and ring finger along her wet entrance, hot and sensitive from his tongue and the scrub of his stubble, quivering with need. "Let me help you see that light again, love," he moaned against her flesh, nibbled on the pulsing nub and simultaneously slid his fingers into her dripping warmth.

Both of them groaned out as he stretched her and pressed against that hidden spot again, and he felt his cock stir as she clenched down on him, wanting to hold him locked. Her body was always very possessive over him, whether it was her intention or not, and he thoroughly enjoyed how it slung its claws into him in every way imaginable. No matter if it was her voice, the look of her eyes, her plum lips, breasts, legs or her sex itself. All of her was able to lure him, to claim him and to drug his senses with arousal and the desire to consume her. A wonderful prison he was locked in and of which he never wanted to escape from.

Curling his fingers, he started to thrust, massaging and pushing relentlessly against the spot that drove her crazy. Rewarded with a trembling whine, he smirked against her and gave the small, pulsing pearl a particularly hard and long suck, increasing its sensitivity further. Her body shook and he could feel the leg he was holding trembling. Wanting to give her as much support as he could while ravishing her, he guided her leg up and set her foot on top of his shoulder before using his now free hand to reach over her waist and press her back against the wall.

Somewhere in her overwhelmed brain she felt thankful for his support, but most of her synapses were busy trying to cope with the pressure that built up in her core. His fingers increased their pace and pressure, treating the spongy spot with such fervour it seemed like he was fervently praying to his own goddess, which for a second she figured could really be the case. He was worshipping her. Always. With all of his being. And now he looked forward to an answer to his persistence and good service.

She could feel her body giving in, caving to the sensations of letting go and exploding, and her right hand reflexively reached for the fastening of the shower, gripping the metal with whitening knuckles. Head tilting, she looked down at Lucifer, spotting he had his eyes softly closed as he praised her with mouth and fingers. Yes. He _was_ a pious and diligent believer, she thought smiling. Just not towards the One up above, but towards _her_.

And finally, all his caretaking was rewarded, her body stumbling and plummeting into the sea of pleasure and relief. Her vision sprinkling with black and white dots, she lost the control over her shaking legs. Held upright from Lucifer's arm, the heat in her core exploded in a powerful quake. Head pressing back against the shower wall, she cried out his name, urging him to not stop pushing her on and on through her climax.

He obeyed to her desire once again, his fingers thrusting powerfully back and forth through her clenching channel, her release quickly dripping down over his hand and arm. Not wanting for everything to be washed down the drain, he greedily lapped over his palm and her sex, collecting as much of her sweet nectar as possible, while not stopping the treatment of his fingers inside her. When finally her trembles faded and he felt her tightness stop clenching down on him in waves, he carefully pulled out and helped guide her foot down on the ground. With sparkling eyes, he rose up and watched her catch her breath, her cheeks brightly flushed and her lips parted from soft gasps. "So beautiful," he murmured dreamily. Then, before she could respond, he took her face into both hands and crushed his lips down against hers.

Sharing the lingering taste of them both with her, he hummed in satisfaction, feeling how she moved her tongue slow and lazily, clearly exhausted from her second orgasm. He knew she was thoroughly sated and if it would have been any other day, with less of a mentally and physically straining rescue mission, she would have easily been able to reach the double digits with him, meaning four fingers to fill and a dozen orgasms to sate her. But of course he didn't mind. All he wanted was to see her happy and in this special case, to forget about everything else.

"Mmmm… that was quite the… cleanup," she murmured with a smile on her lips, taking in his equally satisfied expression. His eyes looked slightly glassy, with a soft, loving shimmer

in them. Combining that with his glistening wet and divine sculpted body, she had to force herself to keep in mind how they both were in need of some peaceful sleep. She was sure another round with him and she would just be a ragdoll in his arms, unable to hold herself upright at all, and it would quite possibly make her next day much harder, which she wanted to avoid at all cost. It would be an important day and she wanted for both of them to be in good shape - as much as that was possible. "Now I suppose we should use the shower for its designed purpose," she snickered and grabbed the shampoo from the shelf. He didn't object, but just looked at her lovingly, longingly, and let her take care of the cleansing of his front.

His dreamy smile though dropped all of a sudden, when her fingers slipped towards his back. His muscles tensed and his hands shot forward, grabbing her wrists in a fierce hold. The thought of hands brushing over his back, slow and deliberately, made his heart feel electrocuted to a sickening, mad pace and his stomach writhed in sudden nausea. "Don't," he pressed out with a tight, shaky voice, his eyes pleading hers with agony. His breath came ragged, his surroundings blurred and seemed to shrink down on him as he looked at her, shaking in small tremors, all the heat of the shower suddenly gone, his blood running cold.

She gasped, shocked about his sudden move, about the force of his grip that reminded her of this exact behaviour when she had first seen his scarred back as they had met. She remembered his vulnerable look, the damage he tried to conceal that had scarred him beyond the skin, his fears of anyone harming him again, laying so open and bare, just a simple touch away. Her eyes watered but she forced herself to hold the tears at bay. She didn't want for him to think he hurt her, or worse, that she pitied him. Of course she didn't. She felt horrible for what he had suffered, then and now. But she knew, if he'd see her cry, he would close up even further, shield himself from any soothing, helping hand that was offered to him. So she nodded, softy, blinking and regaining her own focus on the situation. "Okay…" she breathed, nodding again and glancing to her wrists, waiting for him to loosen his iron grip on them.

He swallowed thickly, his skin crawling. Releasing a heavy sigh, he blinked and took in her expression that was stuck between care and shock, and the slowing beat of his heart became aching. He scared her with his reaction and he hated himself for it. "I- I'm sorry… I…" He searched for words, but they wouldn't come, his body and mind still shaken from his own reaction. He _wanted_ to feel her hands, but the thought alone of feeling skin touching his bare back threatened bile to rise in the back of his throat.

"It's okay… I… I understand… I do," she whispered, and slowly returned to cleaning herself, figuring it would be best, if he took care of his own body in the way he felt comfortable. She knew better than to pressure him, or to push offerings to his direction. He was stubborn in his sufferings, she knew. But she hoped he'd be aware just how much his friends were there to support him with whatever he needed, if only he'd let them help him.

He stayed in awkward silence throughout the showering, his eyes ever so often glancing at her, trying to decipher her looks, to see if she was angry with him or if she was suffering because of him being defensive. If she was, she didn't show it, her movement natural and her eyes soft and caring.

Dried up and towel wrapped loosely around his hips, he took a bite of one of the sandwiches from the plate on the nightstand in her bedroom, moaning quietly at the delicious flavour. He hadn't quite realized just how hungry he was with all the things that happened today, conscious or not, and now the flavour was sparkling his taste buds with excitement. _Not bad, spawn. Not bad…_

Chewing on another bite, he watched with interest as Chloe stepped over to her wardrobe, picking out a burgundy, silken negligee with a playful floral lace along the v-neck. He continued to observe her slip into the beautiful piece of fabric before he tore his eyes away from her to look into the duffel bag she had packed for him. Everything was there for the next day, he noticed. She had even picked out cufflinks and a pocket square for him that would match the attire. He carefully took out the clothes, hung them up on so they wouldn't get too crumpled, and went to brush his teeth.

It was sweet. She had already set up a little corner for his toiletries since the times he came to her place had increased significantly during the past weeks. The same was true of course for his place and her necessities. But while he loved to have her at his den of seduction and have his privacy with her, he also very much enjoyed the times he could be at her place, feeling the warmth of a house lived in by mother and daughter, a house that welcomed him as not just a guest, but rather a part of its household. _Part of their family?_ he wondered, feeling a light tingle the thought sent through him.

Joined by Chloe, they both finished brushing their teeth and stepped up to her bed. While she slipped beneath the duvet, he hung aside his wet towel to dry and put on a fresh pair of boxers for the night. Getting in bed next to her, she softly snickered. "I may have forgotten to search for PJ's at your place," she mused softly, watching as he stepped to the other side of the bed.

"It's alright," he mouthed with a small smile, pulling back the duvet and slipping into bed. Scooping around he carefully laid on his side, but the pressure in his back still caused him to grunt and clench his jaw.

Her happy expression immediately vanished, her chest aching. Gently reaching up and caressing his stubbled cheek, she swallowed. Trying to search his eyes for an answer she was sure he wouldn't give her, she whispered. "How bad is it?"

_~o~_

" _Not too bad," the spine-chillingly cheerful voice hums with a small laugh. "What do you say?"_

_Sweat trickles along his face, over the side of his brow and down his cheek. He stares ahead, the two shapes in front of him blurry. One moving. One not. One bright. One dark. Who are they?_

" _Oh that's right. I forgot about your vocal cords there for a second."_

_His eyes burn from something, a strange pressure building. He tries to blink, to release the pressure, but his eyes just won't obey. The burning stings until it trickles and spills over his cheeks, running down along them with his sweat. But the blurriness doesn't go away._

_A warm breath brushes against his ear, the bright shape in front of him leaning to the side and the male voice's delighted tone changes into a disgusted grumble, the anger behind the words barely held back from grinding teeth. "Such beauty, wasted on something so rotten. I'm happy I can help with that. People will be better off without you and your deceiving looks. God knows how many innocents you must've sent to hell. Can't do that without those pretty wings anymore now, can you?"_

_~o~_

[ **[UNSECRET - No Sanctuary]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5vASpFCLiM)

"Can you hear me, Lucifer? Hey?! Look at me," Chloe's urgent voice suddenly tore through the blur of his darkened vision.

He blinked, his surrounding coming to focus. Staring back at her, he stayed quiet, not sure if he could speak. _Vocal Cords…_ He swallowed, his pulse thumping in his ears.

She exhaled loudly, clearly relieved he seemed to respond now. "You didn't react to what I said. You were zoned out there and just stared dead ahead. Are you okay? Did you have another flashback?"

_How long was I…?_ He swallowed again, brows pinching in discomfort. His mouth felt dry like the desert. "I'm… I'm…" He searched for a word, but they all sounded like a horrible lie in his mind and he couldn't bear thinking to ever lie, especially not in Chloe's face. "What did you ask me? Before, I mean."

Of course he wouldn't want to talk about it. She scolded herself silently for thinking she could simply ask him about it. Reaching to his cheek, she softly caressed over it and brushed a wild strand of hair from his forehead. "The pain. In your back. How bad is it? Is it okay when you lay on your side?"

_Oh…_ He licked his dried lips and nodded. "Yeah… it's… better, if I lay on the side, for sure. It's manageable." He watched her reaction, as her eyes lowered a fraction. She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded, her palm withdrawing from his cheek as she snuggled into the pillow with a sad expression. Clearly his response had troubled her and he had a good idea why. She wanted an answer, a true, honest, wholehearted answer, but he couldn't stand the thought of causing her so much more pain if he were to tell her that truth. Hell, he wasn't even sure he could endure the truth himself, if he'd speak out loud, what he had seen. What he had felt.

The minutes passed as she looked at him, quietly, and the memory of his flashback crawled back up slowly, pushing away a layer of dirt and revealing something old and rotten, something that he wasn't sure was really there, but that was like the lingering shiver of a nightmare. The voice in his flashback had accused him. He was the Devil. Evil incarnate. Millions of souls have been doomed into hell because of him. Poor souls were suffering because of him. Innocents died because of him. Wasn't that what the voice had said? The guy with a knife in his chest would be proof to his own foul rotten core.

_The blood I've washed off in the shower… Was that his? Did I…?_ His stomach turned in disgust. "I'm… scared," he whispered into the silence. It was a truth. Not _the_ truth. But a good enough truth to not talk about the giant elephant in the room.

She frowned in sympathy and tilted her head towards him. "Scared about what?" she whispered back, reaching for his hand to pull it between their heads. Any word from him, even just the smallest of reveals was enough to make her heart flutter.

"About my missing memories and what that entails," he uttered with a trembling voice. "Say, I will remember. What if there will be things that I'll regret..." Pausing he took a deep breath to control his voice, but it did little to help. "Detective... What if I killed that man? What if I..." He broke off, at the verge of tears, he pleaded to her to ease his fears. _What if I_ am _evil like the voice said?_

She could understand his worry over his missing memories. With the evidence being analysed, it could either lead to complications or for a huge amount of worries to dissolve and be lifted off his shoulders. It could go both ways. "Lucifer," she breathed softly and with a tone of appeasement. "You'll be fine. I don't believe you killed him. That's not something you would do. You're not a murderer. And just because you can't remember what you did, doesn't mean you could possibly have had a complete change of character. Listen to me. You're a good man. You'd never kill someone with intent. If _anything_ I bet it was self defence."

"But we don't know that," he pressed, blinking away his tears. "I woke up next to a dead man, with my hands and arms covered in blood. I-"

Fingers moving to his lips, she silenced him tenderly, shaking her head, frowning. "No, Lucifer. I won't simply believe that you killed him. You think so lowly of yourself. It's unjustified. Trust me. We don't even know half of the story yet. We still need to fill in the blanks and understand what happened." Her expression turned softly uplifting. "Have you thought about that, maybe you wanted to help him? Maybe you tried to stop his bleeding and that's why you were covered in blood. And it might not even be the man's blood at all. There's so much that needs to be analysed first, before we can draw any conclusions."

_Help him? Did I?_ Frowning in thought, he tried to press into the dark hole of his memory again, fishing and grabbing into it, trying to get just the tiniest of snippets, an image, a voice, a smell, just _something_ , but nothing emerged and he released an exhausted sigh.

Chloe gently withdrew her fingers and rolled onto her back, her arm still stretched out towards him. She knew the time for words was over now and what he needed was some peace of mind and rest to regain his energy. "Come here," she whispered, gesturing to him to scoop closer. Not that she'd ever say that out loud, but she knew the Devil was a cuddler. Pulling him along, she helped him turn into her and let his head rest against her chest, feeling his warmth on her skin and through the fabric of her negligee.

She was amazingly good at what she was doing and he was very glad about that. She knew how to calm him, knew when he needed a break from everything, knew when he was exhausted from whatever he suffered from. Releasing a soft sigh, he slung his arm over her stomach and snuggled close. The rhythmic thumping of her heart beneath his ear became a calming tune in a matter of seconds and the feel of her fingers combing into his hair made his eyes flutter close tiredly. "Thank you," he mouthed, putting all his affection and gratitude into his voice and hoping she understood the spectrum of his meaning. _For worrying. For calling me. For coming to help me. For holding and supporting me through the pain. For telling me I'm not a monster. For loving me. For everything._

She heard it in the weight of his voice, the heaviness in it while it slightly trembled. "Always, Lucifer." Reaching for the covers, she carefully draped them over them, making sure they would go just below Lucifer's fresh scars. Continuing to slowly comb through his hair and scratch his scalp, she closed her eyes, relaxing with the feel of him against her and soon surrendering to the exhaustion of the day.

It took him longer, the need to know she was safe and sound beneath him, to feel her drift off after she had such a straining day because of him, was so much stronger than the need to fall asleep ahead of her. He needed to know she was far gone before he would find his own rest. _If_ he would find his rest. Feeling how her heartbeat became slow and steady, her fingers loosening in his hair, he exhaled a shaky breath.

Reluctantly, he closed his eyes, hoping, wishing, to sleep peacefully.

But his wishes went unheard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there you go :D This was my way of a "happy" chapter xD Also with some lingering darkness. I hope you enjoyed Lucifer 'coping mechanism'. On this note, I wish you all a happy new year and see you in the next one with many more chapters and stories to come!
> 
> \- Luni


	5. Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welcome to a new chapter my friends. I have thought quite a lot about one certain event going on in this chapter and have finally decided on what you will read here. Be ready for more Hurt than Comfort and for the story to unfold further. ;) Enjoy the read!
> 
> Recommended Songs:
> 
> [God Body Disconnect - Descend with Demons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUID5SIW6Y8)  
> [Secession Studios - Dancing With Flames](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UauukzbPejE)

* * *

Chapter 5 – Blood

[ **[God Body Disconnect - Descend with Demons]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUID5SIW6Y8)

_He wants out. He wants nothing more than to get away._

_The tiled room around him is reflecting shadows in the dim blue lighting. They are scary. Shifting and swirling, bending and racing. He is afraid of the shadows. They bring pain._

_Wanting to look around, he finds himself unable to turn his head. He tries to lean his body forward, to move his hands, but his limbs don't follow his orders. All he can do is move his eyes. The bright shape in front of him moves. But somehow it's also_ not _in front of him. No. It passes through the dark shape. Or maybe it moves behind it? It's too confusing._

_The light above him flickers, buzzing quietly. He looks up, but it hurts to look directly into it. Too bright, even though his surroundings seem so dark. Forcing his eyes to shift to the right as much as he could manage, he saw the blurry edge of what he thought must be his shoulder._

_Suddenly a blue hand grabs onto his shoulder, the fingers tensing as they tighten their grip._

_He squirms and grunts, tries to pull away, but nothing happens._

" _No… No, stop it…" he tries to say, but the words echo only in his mind and don't pass over his lips. "Don't… don't touch me…"_

_The hand grips harder. It moves him and it's uncomfortable, because he can't pull away, his limbs still not cooperating with him. He feels himself panicking._

" _Don't touch me… Don't… Let me go… Don't…" he tries again. This time he feels his lips moving, but he can't hear his own voice, so he tries harder. "Don't touch me!"_

_His pulse races. He's terrified and feral like a cornered animal. He can feel his body covered in cold sweat, his muscles aching, and the hand pulls at his shoulder almost painfully strong once again._

" _Lucifer... Lucifer? Hey, Lucifer?" the male voice calls him. But it begins to shift, transitioning higher into a more frantic and richer in colour tone. It becomes familiar. It becomes female. "Lucifer?!"_

"I SAID, DON'T TOUCH ME!" he roared in a wild frenzy with wide blown, hellfire eyes, startling up from the bed. His right hand gripped tightly onto a delicate, warm throat, the pulse beneath his palm thundering. Before he could understand what was happening, Chloe released a rasping grunt, trying desperately to breathe as Lucifer's fingers cramped up around her throat, squeezing mortal tissue to a degree close to breaking bone and being fatal.

"Ngh-u-c-fer!" Chloe pressed in raw panic, eyes wide and stinging with tears, her fingers clutching onto his broad palm, desperately trying to peel him off of her. "I c-n't… b-rea-th-"

It took him five long seconds for his vision to adjust to the soft, warm light in Chloe's bedroom, to grasp that he had moved, to understand he had actually shouted out loud, and to realize that he was forcefully choking Chloe. It had been a nightmare. And he had woken up in another one right after. Appalled by his own body's reaction, he pulled his hand away with a grunt of disgust and shame, scooping back on the bed as far away from her as the headboard allowed him to. The connection with it was sending a dull pain through him, but his mind was too shocked from his own actions to even really realize how his sensitive scars pressed against the wood.

Eyes dimming back to their natural brown shade, he stared back at Chloe, trembling and unable to properly breathe, as if he had been the one choking for air and not her. "I- I- I'm- I'm s-s-sorry," he stuttered, unwanted tears welling up and pressing through the dam. He gazed into her wide blown, ocean-blues, before he looked a level lower at her throat, watching as she gently caressed along the choked area, swallowing and catching her breath. He had choked her hard and he was sure it would leave ugly marks soon. The thought of having hurt her caused a sickness to come up in his own throat.

She felt her body shaking with adrenaline and, although she didn't want to admit it to herself, yes, also with fear. She had seen Lucifer enraged before, had seen him snap from one moment to another, she had even been the unintended target of his outbursts a few times, but he had never gotten physical towards her, not once. To feel the wrath of the Devil first handedly now, and quite literally so, she found herself overwhelmed with shock.

"I d-din't... I- I didn't m-mean t-to-" Lucifer stuttered along, his heart breaking when he saw her tears streaming down her cheeks. "D-Detective... C-Chloe… Please, I-" He couldn't bear it. Couldn't stand to see the look of fear in her eyes, caused by him. Swallowing the acid feel of disgust over himself and blinking away his own tears, he got out of bed and stepped to the hanger with his fresh clothes. He needed to get out. Needed air. Needed to get away from her, for his own sake and hers, because he knew he was terrifying her with what he had done, and he couldn't blame her for it. He wasn't sure who of them both was more shocked and appalled.

The sun was shining its betraying warm morning rays through a few branches of a tree outside the window and into the bedroom, and a short glance to the alarm on Chloe's nightstand told him it was 6:30am. As he slipped into his shirt, he noticed that Chloe was already dressed for the day. And she hadn't moved at all. The pressure in his chest was crushing him. When he was fully dressed, she eventually came out of her frozen state, wiping her arm over her face before looking back at him.

"I think you should take things slow, you know?" she said in a small, tearful voice, standing up and stepping towards him. She was visibly pulling herself together, pushing away what fear had shook through her. How she was able to do that, he didn't know. "Once you gave Ella the remaining things necessary for her analysis and as soon as you get ruled out as a suspect, I think you should step away for a bit."

She wanted him gone. _That's_ how scared she was, he thought. His hands dropped from his button line, his brows coming together in a confused frown. "I.. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to-"

"I know," she cut him off, raising her hand before he could protest. "I know, Lucifer. It's alright. _I'm_ alright. I promise. But I mean it… You should step away from this whole thing. I don't think it will do you any good."

He frowned, irritated. She said he should step away, but if it wasn't because of her being scared, he wondered what the real reason was. "What? But… why? You said, I could be part of the investigation. That I could help. I _need_ to help, Detective." He knew he sounded hurt. Angry even. It seemed his protective walls had come crumbling down with the events of the previous day, and he found himself conflicted, between feeling upset because of the lack of his own protection and not giving a flying fuck. For this very moment though, his emotions settled with the latter and with feeling hurt. And when he was hurt, lashing out in anger was his last resort. "You _lied_ to me," he pressed, his tone and eyes growing hard like stone.

Her heart sank at his insistence, right before Lucifer sent another knife into it with his last words. "No, I didn't," she tried to assure him, her voice weak and shaking. "I'm worried about you, Lucifer. You should see Linda about this. I think she could hel-."

"I'm not a bloody nutter! I don't need-" he hissed angrily, but bit his tongue before he could speak a lie himself. Taking a deep, calming breath, he sighed. "I want answers. And I'm pretty sure the doctor can't give those to me. But that fucking, sleazy bastard who did this to me… He will have answers, and I'll make sure to find him and squeeze them out of him." Collecting his ruined clothes from the previous day and putting them into his empty duffel, he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of her bedroom, heading downstairs.

"Great… Just great," Chloe breathed to herself, head falling back into her neck. She quickly gathered a thin scarf from her closet and wrapped it neatly around her neck, being quite certain she'd see a handprint there real soon. Once her cover-up was settled, she headed after him, just hearing the front door slam shut. He was angry, hurt and obviously pissed. He'd be difficult to handle today, she knew that. And what was even worse: If she were to send him away because of his state of mind and behaviour, he'd only become even more unpredictable. This really hadn't been a good start into the day.

* * *

The burning pain in his shoulder blades had decreased to an annoying, but endurable, stinging sensation, which only showed whenever he'd stretch a bit too much. He hoped the pain would subside fully though, but he expected phantom pain to still surface every now and then. He knew _that_ experience quite well since his prior, intentional, wing-removals.

"You sure you're okay leaning back like that?" Chloe asked carefully but concernedly, and threw him a glance to the passenger seat. She had seen him tense up several times when she took corners and it was troubling to think she caused him pain he wouldn't admit to her merely out of stubbornness.

"It's fine. They only sting a bit. I can handle it," he assured her, but he could tell his words still sounded evasive, because he was. He was keeping his anger on a short leash. "And they're not weeping or anything. In a day or two the scars will have healed up as much as possible, I suppose." Leaning towards the window, he stared outside with nothing in focus, his mind reeling over his divine attachments.

For such a long time he had despised them, hated them for how they defined him as someone and something he didn't want to be. A mindless soldier of heaven, not allowed to ask questions, not allowed to desire anything else but to serve. The wings had been a pair of glorious looking shackles and it had been a reverent moment of freedom when he liberated himself from them before. It had been strange to realize how he had been so very wrong about them and about all of his being in the end. As Amenadiel said, angels were choosing their own fate, self-realising and materialising what they believed they deserved. It was never really about what was visible on the outside, but the way he felt like on the inside.

And thinking about his inside now, he wasn't sure if he'd deserve to get his wings back, no matter how much he would like to feel their weight again. Surely he could love, show his devotion and do good in the world, but he couldn't deny the darkness inside him that called for revenge. For punishment. The person responsible for cutting off his wings and leaving him like a piece of trash in that forsaken, abandoned building in the middle of a thunderstorm, would likely find himself at the hands of a very unstable Devil, once he'd get a hold of him. And he wasn't sure if these thoughts alone were already his doom, tainting him with a darkness that wouldn't let his wings sprout from his back again.

Chloe really wanted to lift his mood, but the truth was that she was rather tense herself. Today would be a big day for them with lots of analysis being done that hopefully sooner rather than later would give them some clearance and less to worry about.

Arriving at the precinct, they both stayed quiet on their way inside. As soon as they entered the bullpen though, Chloe could feel the disturbing atmosphere. All eyes were on them immediately, hesitant, concerned, shy. People were whispering to each other, making small gestures pointing towards them. It was sickening, the way rumours were spreading so damn quickly and she had a good idea what kind of crap they'd talk about. She knew it since Palmetto. It didn't matter how much everybody had liked Lucifer before. Someone from the precinct being involved to whatever degree in a homicide, caused everybody to lose their damn manners and decency. But the worst part of it was that she knew Lucifer was aware of the looks and whispering as well. As if being the religious punching bag for humanity's atrocities wasn't enough of a punishment already.

"I'll give these to Miss Lopez," Lucifer muttered lowly, clearly disgruntled, lifting the duffel with his torn, bloodstained clothes. Widening his strides, he quickly headed to the forensics lab, withdrawing from the pool of curious eyes and loose mouths. He was about to announce himself and greet the young Latina, who was deep in focus over a microscope, when Ella raised her arm and pointed to the spot next to her.

"Just put the doughnuts next to me on the table, Steve. I'll pay you later. This chica's in the zone," she said, completely consumed by her work. She looked to the side on a piece of paper and scribbled down some hasty notes.

"Erm… Sorry to triple disappoint you, Miss Lopez," he made himself known to her, causing Ella to startle, swirl around and look at him with wide eyes. Offering her an apologetic, sad smile, he lifted the duffel for her to see and put it on the big table in the middle of the room. "It's just me, Lucifer, not Steve,. I also don't bring you doughnuts, but blood and mud stained clothes. I hope you like the flavours. And sorry for interrupting your... zone."

"Heyyyy! Youuu! Oh my god, that's right! The clothes! I- I- I asked you to bring them a-a-and… you _did_! Th-Thanks!" she stammered, fidgeting around and flashing him an awkward smile.

Lucifer sighed, dismissing the mention of his Father, too upset to give Him the effort of a remark. Lingering at the table, he looked back at her expectantly, hoping for her always curious science-mind to have some information she wanted to share with him, simply to pull him out of his own little hell he felt stuck in. But instead of showering him with nerdy information, the young woman seemed strangely antsy, more so than usual. Immediately, his inner anger and frustration sunk into the background, making room for genuine concern to arise for her. "Is everything alright?"

Her brows shot up, melting together with her hairline as she gazed at him, looking caught in the act. "What? No. I mean... 'Yes!'. I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be? Do I look like I'm not alright? I'm super duper alright! Everything is hunky-dory."

Staring at her utterly dumbfounded, his frown deepened. "Ooookaaayyy…?" _This most likely is my fault, too, isn't it? It's just my luck..._ "So, erm, is… is there any news you have on my case?" he asked trying to shift the conversation forward to something more productive than weird stammering. He hoped she'd now move on to her regular nerdy, science-knowledge-spreading, and, considering this was a personal matter for him, he was all ears to hear whatever tiny, weird information she'd have for him. Whatever would get him closer to find the bastard who was drooling over his wings now.

"That's erm… That's hard to say…" Ella stammered on, murmuring something about difficult scientific processes and unclear situations.

Stepping over to her instruments, he blatantly skimmed through some papers, apparently some test results with vocabulary he didn't understand. Dismissing her strange stammering completely, he grabbed a handful of the papers. "What did you analyse?" To his surprise, Ella jumped in front of him, took the pages out of his hands a bit too forcefully and stepped away from him again.

"Oh you know, just… some boring tests on the samples I took. Some dirt here, some blood there. Nothing fancy. I'm sure you can think of more interesting things. Maybe a party at Lux?" she babbled and threw him another awkward smile.

 _What the bloody hell is going on with her? She's usually not this weird. Not to this extreme._ He stared back at her in confusion, trying to figure out what was going on that made her so nervous. Her eyes continued to stare at him widely, her pupils dilated. She fidgeted around and seemed to try to avoid having him any closer to her. Looking, or rather _listening_ , more closely, he noticed her heart was racing madly and she kept swallowing and worrying her lip between her teeth. And then his eons of knowledge about torment kicked in, deciphering the signs and giving it a name.

Fear.

"You're afraid," he stated surprised. Taken completely off guard, he frowned and put his hands to his hips, baffled. "I- I don't understand. Why would you be afraid of me all of a sudden? You've _never_ been afraid of me." His throat tightened as he glanced back to the papers in her hands and a dark thought washed through him, sparkling a sickening dread in the pit of his stomach. "Did- Did you find something that proves I've murdered that guy?"

For the first time since he entered her lab, Ella's demeanour changed, confused, but clearing with focus at the same time. Looking down at the papers for a second, she focussed back on him. "W-what? You... I- I can't- I mean… Oh my god..."

 _She's so scared. Maybe she thinks I might snap and do something to her … Just like I hurt Chloe this morning. She looked so scared, too..._ "That test result you have there. Does that show that I'm responsible for the death of the guy in the warehouse?" he repeated his question. He looked at her, both devastated and hopeful, wishing that whatever she had found would rule him out as the murderer, but the young forensic woman just gazed back at him in fear.

"I don't understand, Miss Lopez! What have you found out, that got you so bloody scared of me?!" he pressed, his voice raising in frustration and tension. _What if it's not about that?_ , his mind suddenly rang and he froze. _She tested my blood._ He swallowed thickly. "You looked at my blood..."

Ella's arms reached around her, her free hand taking a hold onto her small cross necklace. It was the only sign he needed, confirming he had been right. She was shaken not in fear over him being a potential murderer, but rather shaken in her belief as she was confronted with proof that made her belief valid, made it _real_. Shaken because the realization over who was standing in front of her dawned upon her. She _knew_. She had seen something that didn't fit into her world, because it was not _from_ her world.

Breathing heavily, Ella backed away from him as far as the desk behind her would allow it. "I- I tested it... _Seven_ times," she stuttered, her voice shaking, but it was obvious she was fighting for control and by the looks of her eyes watering, she was not successful. "With different machines even! They didn't malfunction! That DNA, it… it's… it makes no sense. It's- It's not… not..."

He released a tense breath, his shoulders sinking. "Human," he quietly finished the sentence for her. It was horrible to see her like this, to feel her fear, and to know how this revelation would change her life. He hated it. That moment when realization hit and the ground was pulled away right from beneath their feet. And he knew there was not much he could do about it. Everyone reacted differently to divinity becoming a real, tangible thing in their life and the universe they lived in. All he could try to do was to carefully test the waters.

"Please don't be afraid of me, Miss Lopez. I would never hurt you." _What is my word worth? I have never thought I'd ever hurt Chloe either…_ Turning slightly away from her, he gave her more space and the security of not having his physical focus aimed towards her. Instead, he stepped around the big table in the centre of the room, appearing as if he was inspecting the lab, rather than the conversation being the centre of his attention. "I'm actually very fond of you, you know? Ironically also because of your faith," he murmured and let out a soft laugh. "But mainly because of your positivity. Do you remember our first conversation back at that carousel crime scene?"

Curiously glancing over to her, he saw her posture relax a little. Her hand was still fumbling on her cross necklace, but by the shimmer of wonder in her eyes he could see her brain was trying to navigate away from her fear towards the memory he made her evoke. After a few seconds, Ella frowned. "I said that I believe the Devil is misunderstood and getting a bad rep."

"Yes," he breathed with a soft smile, remembering clearly how touched he had been at her warm hearted reaction. "You had me pleasantly surprised. It made me immediately like you. You weren't judging like most others, despite what your belief says about me."

Ella's expression changed from confused and conflicted to wondrous. Putting the test results aside, she looked at him more intently than before and he realized it was the same look the Detective had whenever she was trying to figure something out. "Does anyone else know?" she mouthed, glancing out the window into the busy precinct for a second before staring back at him, her tone becoming firmer, more confident and with a hint of reproach even. "Does- Does _Chloe_ know?!"

She was taking the celestial revelation rather smoothly, or so it seemed, and he hoped that as their conversation was continuing, the newfound knowledge would start to settle more easily. "She does, yes," he answered her honestly, feeling the warmth spread in his chest as that truth lingered and embraced his core. Having her in the know had been a tough road, but eventually it had led to her acceptance of him and the reveal of their feelings towards each other. All the hiding had finally come to an end, and he was beyond grateful that he was now able to share everything with her, knowing she would have the same understanding. "Dr. Martin also knows. If you… feel like you need someone outside of work to talk to about this, then perhaps you might find it helpful to seek her out. Thinking about it… The Douche is actually now the only one from the inner circle who doesn't have a bloody clue. Well… I'm sure it's for the better in his case..."

"Okay… okay…" Ella breathed quickly, starting to pace in her little corner. "You… you're not exactly… You know…" Gesturing wildly with her free hand, she bit on her lip in search for the right words.

"Yes, I'm aware. Trust me. No hooves, no horns, no trident and no back-end tail," he listed up, sighing. Of course humans would state the visual first. When seeing only his normal looks, he was hardly able to be comparable to anything that was in the books… until he'd reveal his Devil face that was. Then they'd run for the hills screaming.

"I was about to say _not evil_ ," she quietly stated.

Now it was his turn to freeze and stare at her. His heart began to flutter from the sweet spot she had unknowingly landed a hit on and he felt his throat closing with a lump. "I- I'm not?" he choked in question, eyes glazing with fondness over her words.

She stopped her nervous pacing and made a few steps towards him. "No. Of course not. You… you're helping the police." Shaking her head in wonder, she pursed her lip, looking at him as if he was the greatest enigma. "Just, erm… Why exactly is that?"

He stood a few more seconds perplexed about her simple response that had him so affected. Clearing his throat a bit awkwardly, he straightened his shoulders, careful to not stretch too much. "Well, believe it or not, I have a strong sense of justice. In hell I was punishing guilty souls, but it's hardly satisfying in the long run. And trust me, eternity is a _very, very_ _long run_ ," he explained and gave her a short grimacing smile. "When I started to help the Detective, I… I felt a sort of accomplishment and satisfaction when putting the criminals to justice _before_ their death and keeping them from harming anyone else. It felt good. And... _I_ felt good as well."

He watched as Ella considered his words. She kept taking breaths to speak up, but stopped each time and he wondered what was stuck in her mind. _Perhaps it's still too much to process. This has been hardly the most common reaction. And she has only seen my blood so far. I could still show her my Devil face, if she'd ever want to and is ready for it, but… I'd actually prefer to show her my wings for a change. But those are out of the game right now…_ Bitterly sighing at his own train of thoughts, he hadn't noticed how Ella had stepped closer to him once again, stopping in arms reach.

Biting her lip, her hand tightened around her necklace, her eyes looking up at him watery. "If all these things about you have been so wrong… what does that say about Him? Is anything about Him even true?"

 _Well, buggers._ Again her reaction was not what he had expected. "Miss Lopez," he began softly, offering her a warm smile. "Just because I was falsely depicted as evil and branded the scapegoat from humanity, doesn't mean God is nothing like you believe Him to be." It was difficult to re-evaluate faith when the parameters had suddenly been completely changed. It felt like a betrayal and there was almost nothing that hurt more than that of a deep rooted belief being shaken to its core. He was well aware of that. "I'm certain that Dad watches over you. Believe me when I say, He loves humanity."

Her big eyes pensively kept their stare at him, insecure and wondrous, but his words seemed to have struck a chord as the doubt was beginning to ease from her face. "Please consider talking to the doctor or the Detective." A smile creeping up his lips, he shrugged with a little snicker. "Hell, you could even talk with Maze or Amenadiel, if you want to have another infernal or celestial being to talk to other than the Devil himself." His grin slowly dropped as he saw the latina's eyes widen once again. "Oh, bollocks. I shouldn't have said that, should I? I guess it was a bit too early to pop the news on your special friends."

"I-i-i-infernal?! A-a-as in _from hell_?! Maze?! Holy frigging crap! A-a-and Amenadiel? H-h-he's… he's… your brother, which means, he's an… Oh my god… oh my… friggin'... god!" Bending forward, Ella struggled for breath, hyperventilating, her face paling. "Oh god… GOD?! Holy crap! Oh Jesus… JESUS?!"

 _Bloody hell... There goes her sanity… Well done, Lucifer, well done!_ "Woah, woah, easy there! One celestial baby-step at a time, although the hipster sandal-guy really doesn't count as a celestial, mind you," he tried to appease her and quickly closed the distance to her. Finding her too busy trying to put her thoughts together instead of worrying over the Devil in front of her, he gently took her hands, helping to steady her. Leaning in, he intently looked at her until he had her focus. "Alright, Miss Lopez. I want you to take a deep breath into your nose." He watched as she tried to follow his instruction, clearly shaken and overwhelmed. "Aaaaand out through your mouth. That's it. And again. Slowly. Deep breath in…. aaaand out."

He felt sorry for her. For all the revelations that were crashing down on her like a meteor shower and for all the craters he knew the impacts would leave behind. The knowledge would change her one way or another. He didn't know how much and what exactly it would do with her, but he knew she wouldn't be the same person as before. And that saddened and worried him. "I'm used to people being pursy when they see me, but this was a bit too close to the unconscious side for my taste," he quipped, hiding his own insecurities with his humour once again and observed her closely.

After a few moments of calming her breathing, Ella carefully let go of his arms, looking at him more relaxed, although still slightly wary. "Thanks," she breathed and he could see it was a moment of realization once again, but a rather pleasant one for them both. "You really weren't kidding, huh? No method acting."

Softly snorting at her, he playfully grimaced. "I'm afraid not." Seeing her respond with a small laugh herself, he felt the tightness in his chest release a little bit more. "It certainly made for some amusing conversations with you though." Giving her a wink, Ella finally let out a true giggle, warm and at ease, and he let out a satisfied sigh. This was much better. He wanted for her to be trusting in her skills and keep her faith in the good and his Father, because they were giving her both strength and security. And it was good to know she wasn't afraid of him anymore. _How curious. From the friends who found out, the most faithful one had the least trouble… Is that your way of being funny, Dad?_

The sound of the door opening made them both turn, and they watched with some amusement as Chloe came in with a file in her hand. "Hey guys. What's up?"

"My bloody mood, _that's_ what's up, Detective!" Lucifer cheered back, flashing her his billion dollar white smile.

She blinked, if not at his impeccable, dazzling teeth, than at his sudden mood change. "Oh... okay. That's good news then," Chloe responded with a small, surprised nod, glad to see his optimism and happiness back in action.

"Yes! Guess what? Miss Lopez is in the know now," he emphasized, his smile spreading from one ear to the other.

That made her brows melt up into her hairline, her eyes widen and her jaw drop. "What?" she breathed, shocked. A small voice in her back kept repeating that surely he was just joking. His usual Devil-talk to Ella, a constant back and forth between them that she didn't realize to be the truth, but thought of as passionately consistent method-acting.

He paused, slightly bummed she didn't understand him explain it the first time, or perhaps not even trusting what he had said to be true, even though she knew he wouldn't ever lie. "I said, that Miss Lopez is now truly enlightened," he clarified with a bit of a pressured smirk, expecting her to now follow along and grasp the good news. But when Chloe's brows just scrunched together in a frown and she stayed otherwise motionless, he sighed, flailing his hands in defeat. "She knows that I am _really_ the Devil, Detective. She analysed my blood. I told you it was bound to confuse her."

"Oh," was all Chloe managed to say, her lips still parted like that of a stranded fish. Blinking, she observed Ella. "That actually happened faster than I thought… And… you are... okay? No world-shattering thoughts about your small existence or what you're gonna do with that knowledge?"

"No.. I mean... Yeah... Urgh… I just can't believe you guys haven't told me! All the freaking times we were joking around and you… you _knew_!" she exclaimed, offended, yet relieved, and gave Chloe's arm a playful slap.

"Oh, in her defence, the Detective obviously isn't as practised as I am in the whole Devil-topic and how telling the truth just doesn't really make people believe me anyway. She keeps rolling her eyes at me when I explain to humans how I am actually the Devil. See? She's doing it right now," he stated matter-of-factly and gave Chloe a pointed smart-ass look. "Although I must admit, each time I do so, I do have a splinter of hope that the human could simply believe me without further proof, but, spoiler alert, it never happened so far."

"Humans really are a tough crowd, huh?" Ella asked sympathetically and shared an amused smile with Chloe

"That's what I've been trying to tell you folks since ages," Lucifer vigorously agreed, nodding his head, all serious.

Chloe was beyond relieved about Lucifer's mood change. And it wasn't even much of a surprise that Ella was the one who had brought the happy mood to Lucifer. "Glad to see you're feeling better," she pointed out quietly, warmly smiling at him.

Eyes locking with hers, he froze, her comment able to touch him beyond the physical, breaking through barriers of defensive humour and into his suffering core. "Yes…" he breathed, otherwise speechless.

"So, Ella, what can you tell us?" Chloe focused back on the forensic. "What have you found out so far?"

The energetic Latina, back in her métier, spread out the papers of her analysis. "Alright so. As for Lucifer's blood, that's really difficult to take apart. Like, there's stuff going on that's physically not possible, okay?" She looked at them both, expectantly, but all she got back was a smile from them both that said ' _Yeah, we know'_. "Anyway _._ What I _did_ find out was that there was some _really_ bad drug juice going into his system."

"So, I remembered correctly. I _was_ drugged," Lucifer grumbled, feeling his muscles tensing up at the thought.

"What kind of drug was it?" Chloe asked, looking at the analysis with curves and data, diagrams and cryptic medical language.

"Well, I can't exactly say how much of it all was in his system, but it looks like two components so far and one of them was definitely a really nasty one. It was something called decamethonium. That's some really mean stuff on the market. Not that you can just purchase it. It's restricted to research purposes and may only be used in severe emergencies, because of its drastic natural effects as well as side effects." She looked between the two, her expression worried and reluctant.

It was obvious she held back information, and when Lucifer saw the uneasiness and sorrow in her eyes, he knew she held back because of him. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, to remind him of how vulnerable he had been, of having been at a crazy person's mercy. "Spill it, Miss Lopez. I'm a big boy."

Releasing a tensed breath, Ella nodded. "Okay… sorry. I just… puhh… okay. Decamethonium is a depolarising muscle relaxant, meaning it immobilizes, but not produces unconsciousness or anaesthesia."

Chloe froze on the spot, the realization and depth of what Ella explained in just one sentence was hitting her unprepared. She felt an overwhelming need to vomit. Last night, it had been the sight of Lucifer's back and now it was the knowledge that he had his wings forcefully removed while being conscious. The brutality just reached another level.

"I was awake…" Lucifer drily summed up the result of Ella's medical explanation, his teeth gritted, the anger seething in the ring of his voice. "And I couldn't... I couldn't speak." _Scream. I couldn't scream. Miss Lopez knows. The Detective knows. She knows I couldn't scream when that piece of shit cut off my-_ Swallowing, he slipped his hands into his pockets, feeling his fingers starting to tremble, his palms sweating and his mouth tasting like ash. Awkwardly the seconds passed by between them. Chloe stood frozen and pale. _Yeah… she knows._ Clearing his throat to disturb the silence, he finally took a long, dragging inhale, turning to Ella again. "Have you found anything else yet? What about that dead guy? The samples you took from my hands? Anything?"

"Lucifer," Chloe suddenly spoke up, coming out of her torpor. She tried her best to keep her voice steady, gently reached for his arm and gave it a squeeze. "We've talked about this. Please… Don't take it the wrong way. But you can't be part of the investigation until you're cleared. I'm sorry." It broke her heart yet again to see his expression falter for the shortest moment, before he built up his walls again, practised through eons of having taken whatever atrocity that had been thrown his way.

"Yes… That's what you've said, Detective" he muttered bitterly, pulling his arm away from her, trying to push away the grief and anger, the hurt and humiliation, the agony and helplessness. It was all too much to endure, so his shields went up automatically. "Thank you for your sympathy and trust, Miss Lopez." Trying to give Ella a half-hearted smile, he stepped past Chloe, around the big table, and headed out of the lab.

"Lucifer, wait," Chloe's sad voice rang after him, but she didn't follow him when the door fell shut behind him, feeling her heart and legs both as heavy as lead.

[ **[Secession Studios - Dancing With Flames]** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UauukzbPejE)

He couldn't look at her, couldn't stand the hurt in her expression, mirroring his own. She felt horrible because of what happened to him, he could tell. But the sight of her, being overwhelmed with dread on the one hand and on the other having her push him away, was impossible for him to endure. It was worse than the cruellest hell loop he could imagine for himself, or perhaps, _this_ was exactly it. The most tormenting punishment of all.

Walking out through the bullpen with firm strides, he felt the eyes on him, heard the whispering and shocked gasps as he skipped past the tables towards the stairs, and his throat closed up again. He felt like a suffocating fish, yet at the same time he wanted to punch a hole into the concrete wall from a burning, white-hot anger raging in his core.

_Out… I gotta get out of this bloody precinct…_

Once in the parking lot, he took several deep breaths of fresh air, filling his lungs to the brim and letting the breeze calm his jittery nerves.

_It's okay… I'm bloody fine… She doesn't want me in the investigation? Fine then! I'm gonna fucking do it my own way!_

Padding his jacket, he gritted his teeth. No phone. Of course not. The police must've picked it up in the warehouse. Padding along his pants' pockets he felt his pulse rising again.

_Bollocks… No wallet, no cigarettes and no Dad-damn keys either! Where's my car anyway? At Lux? Dammit... I didn't pay attention last night… I was so fucking zoned out..._

Grumbling, he started to walk around in the parking lot and, as he reached the second row of parked cars, came to a halt in front of a [matt black '69 Boss 302 Mustang](https://tinyurl.com/y4q2b79l). His mood shifted, the car being like a silver lining on the horizon. "Well, hello. Aren't you sticking out from all those lemons? You show up at the exact right moment and you deserve a nice ride with me." Checking the door handle of the car, he confirmed it was locked.

_No one in their right mind would leave such a beauty unlocked..._

Fingers lightly brushing over the handle, he let his charm do its wonders. With a _click_ the door pin shot up and the way was open. "Thanks darling," he purred and hopped inside, smiling, satisfied.

His Corvette was a shining star, smooth and classy. The Mustang was its older, best friend, edgy, wild and just as beautiful. But while he had to treat his Corvette and its manual gearbox with loving care, he knew _this beast_ would love to be treated with a rough hand and it would give him the roar that resonated with his inner Devil.

Hands caressing over the steering wheel, he focused his charm again, this time on the car's engine, concentrating on the inanimate object. "Come on, baby. Let me hear you," he mouthed in a hot whisper and a second later, the engine sparked with life, greeting him with a powerful roar. "What a naughty girl… Now. Let's show you around and put that horsepower to work. I'm on a hunt." Smirking with a dark glint in his eyes, he put in the gear, tightened his grip on the steering wheel and hit the road.

He was determined and had a plan. In his mind he was already going through the list of contacts he knew. The phone numbers of the most important of them he knew by heart. Everybody else would only be one additional call away. It was all about knowing the right people and all of them were open to some form of exchange for a favour to ask. And his range of favours was almost unlimited, as long as he deemed them fitting to his personal layout of ethics. The only point he felt his ethics slipping on, was at the handling of the bastard responsible for his situation.

His pulse thundered, anger fuelling him and pumping adrenaline through his veins. His fingers tightened their grip further, knuckles white, and his foot floored the gas pedal. He could feel the boiling heat inside him, the searing wrath lashing out like a merciless whip, the red veil tainting his mind in a powerful frenzy like that of a wild rodeo bull.

He yearned for vengeance. For blood. For bones to crack and screams to erupt. Yes. Screams. Violent, soul-shattering screams of horror and pain, turning hoarse, teary and cracking at the point of exhaustion. Like the ones he had been denied to share. Like the ones he felt stuck in his lungs and core, unable to break free. Instead they were smouldering inside him, striking roots and spreading like a black mould around his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Woop woop! Oh boy, Lucifer's pissed, haha! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, especially with the rather unspectacular celestial-reveal for Ella. I've gone through various ways of how to play it out and decided I liked this one best. I enjoyed the thought of her being the most "easy going" about the reveal, with her being the most religious of the group and always having had a certain connection to Lucifer. So. Lucifer's picked a car (please look it up. it's *fingerkiss* and in my opinion fits an enraged Devil quite well) and he has a plan. Wonder what road he's gonna go…. Muahaha! Alright! Lemme know your thoughts and feelings! I'm curious! :D
> 
> See you in the next gruesome chapter!
> 
> \- Luni


End file.
